I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes
by Her Sweetness
Summary: The new Pharaoh of Egypt has a lot of problems. For one, he must find a way to tell his Advisor he's gay. Another, his cousin, Seth, leads a secret life as a dancer. And who is this Thief King and why is he robbing Atem's closet?
1. The Death of a King

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know; instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Heh heh… hello…

TT.TT I'm sorry but I'm posting this as a gift to myself! You know… this _is_ my 50th fic posted and well, I feel we've reached a turning point, my Golden Anniversary.

Please enjoy it?

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter One:

The sun's rays were relentless in their constant beating on the sandy grounds below. It was noon and every shadow disappeared from beside the rocks and lizards and bones of people who had been in desperate need of sunscreen. In this vast wasteland there really were only a few places of shelter, one being the great palace to the north. Granted, there was no air conditioner—seeing as how it hadn't been invented yet—but there was shade and everyone within a ten mile radius flocked to it.

But because they were not authorized personnel, they were speared to death.

Inside the Palace, on one of the upper levels, a few stern words were heard coming through a large door. Passing said door was Seth, cousin to the future Pharaoh of Egypt, dressed in his normal blue and gold attire. He stopped suddenly, in mid-stride and tilted his head towards the door.

"What the…" He pressed his ear closer.

"You must take this seriously," He heard a firm voice reprimanding someone. "If you keep protesting this the way you have, _rumors_ will start all over the Kingdom."

"But I don't care about the rumors," Seth heard another familiar voice reply. "People can say what they want, doesn't bother me."

"Oh, what would your father say if he heard you speak like that!"

"Probably nothing; he's two steps away from his tomb."

"_ATEM_!"

Seth blinked and stepped away from the door when it busted open. Obviously he did not step away fast enough because the stone door hit him in the face.

"Gah!" He stumbled backwards, both hands on his nose.

The person who exited the room and had thrown open the door looked behind it to see Seth writhing in pain. Said man crossed his arms over his chest and gave him a disapproving look. "Seth, were you eavesdropping?"

He looked up from his bleeding nose and wasn't too surprised to see Shimon standing there looking very prim and proper. "I-I wasn't eavesdropping…" He answered, weakly.

One more judgmental glance before Shimon disappeared down the hallway. Seth got out from behind the door to see the one Shimon had been yelling at. Once again he was unsurprised to see his cousin walking out, his tri-colored hair disheveled like he'd been in an avalanche.

He grinned at Seth sheepishly, picking at his ear. "Well I just got chewed out."

"I heard. Same thing as last week?"

"Yup." Atem nodded and they began walking down the corridor, opposite the direction that Shimon, Advisor to the current Pharaoh, had gone down. "I swear, Shimon never gets tired of harassing me. My father isn't even dead yet, he should lighten up. With any luck I won't have to take over the throne for another few weeks."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid; I saw the Pharaoh this morning and he's on his death bed. He didn't even know who I was, he called me Cindy."

"He's always called you Cindy."

"… Well don't tell anyone."

Atem continued to pick at his ear in the silence of the hallway and Seth finally said something, unable to stand the scratching sound any longer. "Listen, Atem. Shimon's going to keep pushing the subject of marriage until you cave so better to just let him have his way."

"Hah, yeah right. Let him dictate my life? No thanks,"

"… Well have it your way. I don't see the big deal, marriage sounds like a good business to get into. Get this, from what I've heard you're guaranteed to get laid every night! And you get free complements on _sizes_, if you get my meaning."

The future Pharaoh shrugged. "You give me complements all the time, Seth."

"Atem, you damn liar!" Seth blushed, swinging his head around to see if anyone was nearby.

"And I've told you before, I don't like girls and I sure as hell don't wanna have to share my throne with one."

"So tell _Shimon_ that,"

"I did and he ignored me!"

"Then you're screwed. Go tell someone who cares," Seth blew air out of the side of his mouth after they had arrived at Seth's room. He opened the door and went in, about to close it behind himself when Atem's hand got in the way.

Seth looked over his shoulder at him. "What?"

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Why, so you can barter complements from me again? No thanks,"

Atem gave him a skeptical look before taking his hand away. "Oh fine, I don't have any time for you anyway. It's time for me to check on father."

"How exciting. Tell him Cindy says hi."

A funny look directed at Seth and then Atem began to walk away, waving back at his cousin. Seth shut the door and made sure it was secure before venturing over to the other side of the room, where his bed was and peeking underneath it. Finally, he found what he was looking for and pulled out a large piece of glass which served as a mirror and leaned it on the wall.

"Okay," He whispered to himself, looking at his reflection. "Where did I leave off yesterday? … Oh yeah. Arabesque position…"

Seth took in a deep breath before lifting his right leg and bending it behind his left, leaning foreword and extending his arms. "And now fouette…"

-

The door to the Pharaoh's bedroom opened and the Egyptian prince walked in brightly, seemingly unfazed by his father's impending death. Across the large and beautifully-decorated room was a bed that harbored the current Pharaoh. Atem located his emaciated form and walked over, seating himself on a stool near the bed.

"Hello, father," He smiled, giving the elderly man a thumbs up. "What's crackin'?"

"Ooohhh…" The Pharaoh moaned.

"_So_, how was your day?"

"Ooohhh…"

"Well that's good. Hey, father…" Atem thought for a moment, his finger still in his ear. "I had a talk with Shimon a little while ago, he's really been pushing me to get married…"

"Ooohhh…"

"And I just don't want to. I mean, as the next King of Egypt, I shouldn't have to do anything I don't want, right?"

"Ooohhh…"

"But Shimon would never go for that so I have a little favor to ask…"

Atem's father opened his eyes suddenly—they had been closed ever since Atem walked into the room—and his breath caught in his throat. His aged hand reached for Atem as he gasped for breath. "A-Atem…!"

"Just a moment, father, it's rude to interrupt. Anyway, my favor. I wanted to know if you could possibly have it in your will that I won't have to marry?"

"I-I can't _breathe_…!"

"I can get you a piece of stone to carve it on."

"… Goodbye… Atem…"

"Better yet, I'll write it and you can sign at the bottom… Father, do you have a chisel? I seemed to have misplaced mine."

"…"

"… Father?"

"…"

There was a moment of silence before Atem checked his father's pulse on his wrist and his neck. He tapped his foot on the stone ground and rubbed his fingers together. "Well… I suppose no one would care if I _forged_ his name…"

-

"You killed him, Atem," Seth whispered to his cousin behind his hand. They both stood in the throne room towards the front of the Palace as servants and soldiers ran around like chickens with their heads cut off, screaming out that their King had died.

"I did no such thing," Atem whispered back. "He died of old age."

"He died because you told him you were gay, he couldn't handle the disappointment."

"I told him no such thing!"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Mr. Four Inches."

"That's Mr. _Seven_ Inches to you."

* * *

To Be Continued…

* * *

Her Sweetness: Yeah, if I get reviews then you get the next chapter. That's how it works, you see. (By the way, the chapter is short and I'm aware. But chapters this size are easier to produce. Although they may grow in size, depending on certain things.) 


	2. The Acceptance Speech

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Wow! Sometimes I forget how freaking awesome you guys are. Thanks for all the reviews and I will try to live up to your expectations! BTW, thanks, Ryua, I'll take you up on that.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Two:

"Well we all knew it would happen sooner or later,"

"Yeah, I just didn't think it would be so soon,"

In one of the corridors down on the first level of the Palace, two young men were conversing about the recent death of their Pharaoh. So recent, in fact, that it happened twenty minutes ago. Because of the Kingdom's sheep-like tendencies, Shimon and some of the older, more responsible ones decided that making Atem Pharaoh as soon as possible was a good idea. Egypt's people had a history of following the first person who dressed in robes and gold and called themselves 'Pharaoh'.

As the entire Palace was getting ready for Atem's Inauguration Ceremony, these two, Mahaado and Shadi, were leaning on the walls, relaxing and gossiping.

"Hey, here's something new," Mahaado resumed speaking after a group of people had just scuttled by and both he and Shadi pretended to be mourning. "Seen the Prince lately?"

"Atem? No, not really,"

"Well, the word on the street is that Atem is gay _and_ in a secret relationship with Seth."

Shadi looked up, a quizzical expression on his face. "Seth is gay?"

"Of course not! But, Atem being new Pharaoh and all threatened Seth with decapitation if he didn't do what he wanted."

"…" Shadi turned around. "I'm not listening to this; you're making it up."

"I am not! Ask anyone!"

There was a moment of silence in the hallway before a young girl with a jug of water came stumbling down, trying to balance the large container in her small arms. Shadi grinned suddenly and grabbed her arm, causing the bowl to fall and break on the ground.

She looked down at it mournfully. "Damn,"

"Excuse me, miss, but I need to ask you something," He let go of her arm.

"What?" She lifted her eyebrow, obviously annoyed.

Shadi looked briefly at Mahaado. "Was it your knowledge that our new Pharaoh Atem was gay and in a secret relationship with Seth?"

"…"

A moment of silence.

She twisted her mouth and walked away, her head held high. The boys could've sworn they heard her mutter: "Sickos…"

Shadi immediately turned to his companion after she had gone. "See? I told you, that was made up,"

He smirked back. "What if I told you I had proof?"

-

"Oh, Seth, I'm not _good_ at this type of thing!"

Atem complained to his now-called 'High Priest' Seth. They both stood waiting in a room behind red drapes in the largest balcony in the Palace. On the other side of those hangings lay more than a few thousand people, all gathered in less than a few moments notice thanks to a certain Shimon and his guards. They all awaited the presentation of their new King and were talking amongst each other excitedly.

Atem, on the other hand, was all but excited now at the prospect of having to say something to his new Kingdom. The only group he'd ever spoken in front of was when he was younger and he would force Seth to join him and his stuffed animals at his herbal tea parties.

"I-I mean this is such short notice! What could I possibly say to these people without looking like a complete doofus? What? I haven't even prepared a speech! What am I supposed to say, Seth?"

Seth rolled his eyes as his cousin paced the floor. "Oh, stop being such a drama Pharaoh. You worry too much and about the stupidest things, too,"

"Oh, sure, you can say that. I go up there in front of my new kingdom and you sit there and look pretty in your new outfit,"

"You think I look pretty?"

"… Shut up,"

"Is that an order?"

"Yes! Yes, it is! As your Pharaoh, I order you to shut up!"

Seth glared at him for a moment before redirecting his glance out of the window.

Atem smirked in triumph.

Quiet in the room and finally an agitated grumble from the High Priest. "You look cute in your dress,"

"IT ISN'T A DRESS!" Atem squealed, his face red.

"Oh, but it looks so fashionable on you, my _Pharaoh_,"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

Before Atem had a chance to pounce on his oh-so-annoying family member, Shimon came shuffling into the room through the door behind them, his robes and jewelry flowing behind him as he shut the large wooden door behind himself.

"My Pharaoh," He said, now no longer the same 'Atem, you're meshugga!' greeting but now a salutation of respect. Shimon continued. "It's time now to show your Kingdom that you're ready to take responsibility for all their lives."

"Uh… yeah… Shimon, I'm not so sure about this now, could I have some time to rethink the whole responsibility thing?"

"Nonsense, Pharaoh," Seth said, filing his nails with the rough side of a coconut. "You can do whatever you put your gay little mind to."

"Seth," Atem growled.

"We have no time for this, my Pharaoh, we have to go! Come on!" Shimon stomped over to the Pharaoh and picked him up by the neck, dragging him over to the red drapes and throwing the curtains aside and revealing to the darkened room the sun and the people of Egypt all gathered just beyond the Palace, kneeling and waiting for their new Pharaoh.

Shimon set down the young king, centering him in front of the large crowd. Everything was silent, the only noise being Atem's awkward coughs. He sighed and began:

"Um… Hi. My name is Atem. I'll be Pharaohing here since my dad died and… well, I hope we get along."

Everyone looked at each other for a moment after Atem stopped speaking. This time the only sound throughout the entire kingdom was Seth's hysteric laughter in the background and the sound of Shimon's hand slapping his forehead. To save his King, the Advisor went out on the balcony and added to that short speech:

"Our Pharaoh would also like to say that he will be immediately looking for a bride—"

"No, I'm not!" He objected.

"_Yes_, you are,"

"NO, I'M NOT!"

"_Atem_," Shimon whispered harshly. So much for respect. "Why are you so adamant about not getting betrothed?"

"B-Because, I'm—"

"A fairy," Seth provided.

"SHUT UP, YOU RA FORSAKEN PRIEST!"

"COME BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LITTLE CAKE!"

Shimon gasped, appalled. "Seth, you can't say that to our Pharaoh!"

"COME ON, OLD MAN, I'LL WHOOP YOU BOTH!"

As the argument continued, all of the peasants down below watched in awe and confusion. Seth and Atem soon engaged in a physical disagreement and Shimon was nearly killed trying to pull Seth off the Pharaoh. Their fight led them rolling down the stairs of the Palace, kicking and screaming at one another.

On the second level of the place, Shadi and Mahaado were stalking around in the shadows, waiting.

"Hey, Mahaado, what the hell are we waiting for?"

"I'm not sure," He said cautiously, eyes shifting. "But whatever it is, it's gonna be big, I can _feel_ it."

"Well, I hope you _feel _it somewhere else, your hand is on my crotch."

"… Oh, sorry."

"Yeah, right,"

Suddenly from a few steps up the stairwell, shouts and disoriented yelps came louder and louder until the source of the racket came falling down, crashing right between the two boys.

Seth appeared first out of the cloud of dust. He was on top of Atem, his hands on the boy's shoulders as he pinned him down, both their breathing was ragged and their faces red.

Mahaado gasped, overjoyed as he pointed to the two on the floor. "Shadi, Shadi, there it is! There's your proof! They're _doing_ it!"

"Doing what? It looks like an argument to me, Mahaado,"

"Haven't you ever heard of rough sex? I swear, you're so sheltered."

"Oh, shut up!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

All four boys looked up from their separate quarrels at the top of the steps where Shimon was, standing with his arms crossed and his face red, looking mighty pissed-off. He came down the stairs, holding up his robe like a can-can girl so he wouldn't trip.

He looked in disappointment at Seth and Atem first. "Seth! I understand you are used to playing around with your cousin but Atem is Pharaoh now and must be treated with the utmost respect! So get your butt off of our King!"

Begrudgingly, Seth scooted off of Atem and said teen smirked in triumph once again.

Shimon then turned around, scowling at Mahaado and Shadi. "And just what are you two doing down here? You're supposed to be in the throne room with the other Priests! Scat, the both of you!"

"But it's _boring_ in there," Mahaado moaned. "And Isis keeps trying to take my Millennium Ring,"

"I SAID _SCAT_!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" They mumbled before running in the opposite direction.

* * *

To Be Continued…

* * *

Her Sweetness: Yup. Well there ya go. Review, please. 


	3. Where The Boys Are

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: - sings- I wanna wake up where you are… I won't say anything at all…

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Three:

"Hey, where'd all the girls go?"

"What do you mean?"

"What the hell do you think I mean? Girls? Those things with the squishy play-toys on their chests? Ring a bell?"

"… Starting to,"

Seth sighed, leaning back into the wooden wall of the bath. He doubted he was going to get anywhere talking to Atem like this especially now when he couldn't concentrate on controlling the conversation. Currently Seth and his cousin were in one of the Palace's large inside baths, taking a break from the trials and tribulations of being rich and powerful.

The sun had set right after everyone in the Palace courtyard was sent back to their homes, canceling the Inauguration Ceremony for the time being. Shimon had then proceeded to give Atem a long and boring lecture on being respectable and more adult about certain things. Safe to say that entire sermon had been forgotten immediately by Atem.

Seth turned to his cousin again who was playing with a bar of soap. "Hey,"

"Yes?" Asked Atem, not bothering to look up.

"Those girls who're supposed to bathe us, where are they?"

"Oh, _them_," Atem nodded solemnly. "I sent them away."

Shock took over Seth's expression long before anger. He shouted: "_Why_?"

Atem stuck out his tongue. "'Cause they're gross. Who needs a bunch of naked, attractive women percolating around you, trying to scrub the dirt off your body? The whole thing sickens me and frankly, Seth… Seth?"

Apparently said High Priest had been drooling at Atem's description.

The Pharaoh shook his head. "You are so immature,"

"I'm immature, huh?" He smirked, leaning back. "Who's the one in here that still sleeps with a toy sphinx?"

"Chadwick is not a _sphinx_, he's a kitty; I've told you that before,"

"… Right. Well since there're no girls coming, I'm going to bed," Seth said finally, lifting himself out of the bath and standing on the outer rim. He looked over his shoulder at the glazed look in his cousin's amethyst eyes. He cleared his throat and said casually: "Oh and by the way, Atem, could you do me a favor and STOP LOOKIN' AT MY ASS!"

"W-What, what! I wasn't!"

"Yeah, right, you perv!" Seth rolled his eyes and opened the door, going out into the hallway. Which is about the time he realized he was in the open butt-naked but he didn't feel like going back into the room to get a towel. He continued down the hallway and soon Atem was following after him, slipping on his wet feet and trying to hide himself for he lacked clothing as well.

"Seth, wait for me!"

"No!"

"Seth, that was an _order_!"

"You can't _order_ me to be sexually harassed!"

"Yes, I _can_—Wait, I'm not harassing you!"

This continued for a while and others who were roaming the Palace blushed furiously at the sight of their Pharaoh and High Priest engaged in a provocative-looking situation.

A girl who walked on the opposite side of corridor witnessed Seth and Atem running naked with each other. She gasped. "Then the rumors _are_ true!"

-

"Alright, let's try this again," Shimon was standing in front of the Pharaoh's throne, his arms at their usual resting spot, crossed over his chest as he surveyed the scene before him with annoyance. Shimon was currently attempting to train the new Millennium Item holders for their upcoming duties as members of the Pharaoh's Royal Court but they weren't cooperating with him and his patience was wearing thin.

"Isis," He turned to the only girl in the group. "You stand next to Karim… Oh for Ra's sake, pull down your dress!"

Karim raised his hand. "I have to go to the bathroom,"

"No!"

It was quiet for a moment until Isis raised her hand. "I'm on my period; can I go to the bathroom?"

Shimon twisted his mouth and held his breath before groaning. "Go ahead, Isis…"

Karim pouted. "Hey, I'm on my period, too!"

"YOU ARE NOT!"

-

"I knew you wouldn't be mad for long, Seth," Atem smiled gleefully as both he and his cousin opened the door to the ex-Pharaoh's bedroom.

"Hey, hey, don't go assuming. I'm still ticked. I just don't want to walk around without clothes on. I'm getting something to wear and then I'm going back to my room," He said and closed the door behind them as they entered.

Atem sighed at the bedchamber they were in. "I can't believe I have to take my father's room since he died. I mean, I know this is the Pharaoh's chamber but…"

"Are you saying," Seth began from inside the closet on the opposite end of the room, "that being in this room fills you with nostalgia for your father whom you loved dearly and wished you'd had more time with?"

"Not really, it's just that the bed smells like old person,"

"…"

"Hey, so you're not really going to leave, are you?"

"Of course I am! What, you don't expect me to sleep _with_ you, do you?"

"No!" Atem pursed his lips together as he slid into the sheets of the bed that still smelled of his father's death. He twiddled his thumbs once he was snuggled inside. "It's just that this is my first night as Pharaoh and I'm afraid someone will try to kidnap me."

"Hah! Anyone who kidnaps you, Atem, will immediately bring you back so you don't have to worry. … Though why someone would want you is totally over my head… AH!"

Atem sat straight up in the bed. He turned his head towards the closet where Seth's scream had come from. "Seth? Did you stub your toe?"

When there was no answer, Atem sighed and got out of the bed, heading in that direction. "I swear, Seth, you really oughtta be more careful—AH!"

As Atem had entered the closet, he happened upon Seth starring at a man standing in the other corner, short snowy hair falling around his face and wearing a long red and white robe.

Atem blinked, looking at his cousin with a frown. "Seth this is _my_ room; you and your friend will have to find somewhere else to play hide-and-seek."

"He's not my friend!"

"Well he certainly isn't the milk man, now is he?"

Seth's eye twitched and he glanced back at the intruder, saying to him: "Alright, who in the seven hells are you and what are you doing in here? Aren't you aware this place is off limits to civilians?"

"Uh, yeah, but—"

"But _what_?"

"…" The stranger looked down and fiddled with a button on his coat. "I-I'm… uh… My name is Akefia; I'm the King of Thieves so I was wondering if I could stay here and, uh, rob you…?"

"…"

"…"

Atem was the first to speak after a momentary silence. "Okay, Seth, I know this is one of your drunk friends."

"I don't have any friends, this guy is obviously very confused,"

"I'm not confused!" He countered. "I really am Akefia, the famous Thief King!"

"Well I've never heard of you," Seth crossed his arms.

Atem tilted his head. "Are you lost?"

"I'm not lost!"

"Oh what a stupid question," the brunette standing next to his Pharaoh rolled his eyes at him, mimicking Atem's voice. "_Are you lost?_"

"Shut up, Seth, you know nothing!"

"I know a hell of a lot more than you so why don't you shut up!"

"'Cause I'm Pharaoh!"

"I'm High Priest!"

"That doesn't mean anything; they gave you that title so you wouldn't get depressed and become a whore!"

"YOU'RE THE WHORE!"

"NUH-UH!"

Seth tackled Atem and they both fell to the floor, slapping at each other and pinching.

Akefia stood there, dumbfounded for a second before turning back around to what he had previously been doing.

-

"I'm back," Isis said, happily skipping into the throne room to rejoin the others.

Shimon sighed. "Finally. Maybe we can get a few things done now,"

"Hey, I haven't gone to the bathroom yet!" Karim objected.

"I DO NOT CARE!"

"…"

"Now," the Advisor resumed, looking down at a slate that he held in his hands. "Mahaado, I need you and Shadi to get on the left side of Karim and… Wait a minute," He looked around before gasping and clutching his head. "Where are Mahaado and Shadi?"

Isis raised her hand once again. "I think they went to the bathroom, Shimon."

"No fair!" Karim whined.

"Grr… _DAMMIT_!"

* * *

To Be Continued…

* * *

Her Sweetness: Alright, to get the next chapter, you're gonna have to review. Mm'kay? 


	4. After Hours

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Oh yeah, Compy, I know. But if I use the name 'Bakura' then I will use his personality as well and plan to do something different with this 'Akefia'. -wink-

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Four:

"Okay so now do you believe me?" Mahaado looked at his companion who was standing beside him in the dark corridor adjacent to the Pharaoh's bedroom. Mahaado continued: "We've just witnessed Seth and Atem running naked into the Pharaoh's bedchamber; if that's not damning evidence that they're an item, I don't know what is."

Shadi rolled his eyes. "It's circumstantial evidence at best,"

"Circumstantial?" the Priest squealed.

"Yeah. Think about it, maybe they got out from the bath and had no towels. Sound logical?"

There was a long pause.

"Okay…" Mahaado said finally. "But what were they _doing_ in the bath?"

"Ugh!"

-

"GRR!"

"GRR!"

Both Seth and Atem were currently rolling around on the floor of Atem's bedroom closet. The dust that had settled there now flew up due to their tumbling around on the floor. Akefia, in the meantime, had finished taking all of the Pharaoh's clothes and stuffed them into a large brown bag that he had over his shoulder.

When he had finished he turned around, rather surprised to see the two still arguing.

He cleared his throat. "Hey, don't you two get tired of screaming?"

They stopped abruptly and turned to him. "Not really," they said in unison.

"… Oh. Well, see you later then." Akefia nodded to them and stepped over the quarreling two, heading for the door.

"Goodbye," Atem waved to him from on top of Seth but was immediately toppled over.

"Dammit, Atem, get off of me!" Seth said after standing. "I swear, you and your gayness…"

"I'm not gay!"

"Hey, you!" Seth, ignoring his cousin, looked at the thief that was trying to leave the room. When Akefia turned his head around to face Seth, the Priest continued. "Just where do you think you're going? Those clothes are property of Pharaoh Atem!"

"Actually, Seth, those are my father's clothes. I haven't moved mine in yet,"

"… Oh will you shut up!"

Akefia sighed. "Aw, can't I take them? They're practice!"

A pause. "Practice?"

"… Um… yeah, I… eh heh heh… Well," the Tomb Robber was twiddling his thumbs and sighing uncomfortably. He finally spit out what he was trying to say when Seth began to seem uninterested. "Well, you see, I've never robbed a tomb… before…"

Seth looked at Atem.

"…"

"…"

Akefia coughed.

At last, Atem spoke. "So… let me get this straight. You're a famous _tomb robber_… but you've never _robbed a tomb_?"

"Yeah,"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Only in Egypt…"

"Well then how could you possibly be famous for tomb robbing?" Atem asked.

"… You know, I'm not so sure how that happened." Akefia nodded to himself, folding his arms over his bare chest. "It's just… one day I was walking down the street and someone pointed towards me and shouted: _Look! It's Akefia, the famous tomb robber! Run! _And then everyone ran away."

"…"

"…"

"… But," Akefia continued, "when I tried to rob one, I couldn't. I… I'm, uh…"

"You're _what_?" Seth raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

"I'm afraid of tombs," He muttered.

"…"

"…"

-

Outside the Palace walls, a man was shouting at a camel to get off of his wife.

-

Mahaado was currently shushing his Priest-like companion who was standing beside him, complaining and groaning about their current situation. They were both stationed in the shadows of the hallway next to the Pharaoh's bedroom with Mahaado's ear to the door.

"Mahaado, what are you doing?" Shadi whispered harshly, shifting his eyes around the hallway.

The Priest turned around. "I could ask you the same question, I told you to keep watch!"

"No! We shouldn't even be here! You know what happens if we're caught eavesdropping on the Pharaoh! We'll be hung by our yankee-doodles over the Nile and Shimon will let the crocs snap at us!"

A pause.

"You make it sound like a bad thing, Shadi,"

"IT IS A BAD THING!"

"… Personally, I think it would be enjoyable—"

"WELL YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

Mahaado scrunched his face like a frog and turned back around, his ear pushing against the door. It was quiet for a moment and then he shouted: "I hear something! Wails of some kind, I think they're having sex!"

"You're certifiably insane. Why would Atem have sex with Seth out of all the others there are to choose from? He's royalty for Ra's sake and I can tell you, there're much better fish in the sea,"

"Eh heh," Mahaado glanced at him, smirking. "Like _you_, for instance?"

"N-No!" Shadi faltered, blushing madly at Mahaado's accusation. "Of all the terrible things to say, Mahaado…!"

"But I hit the nail on the head, didn't I?" He asked, excited. "You're gay!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Say it, then!"

"S-Say what?"

"Say _I, Shadi, am not nor have I ever been gay_."

"I'm not going to,"

"Oh? Why not?"

"B-Because it's stupid! And I have nothing to prove to you!"

A few seconds of silence and Mahaado shrugged. "You're right, Shadi. You have nothing to prove. We'll drop the subject."

"Thank you," He let out a small sigh of relief.

"……………………………... Gay."

"_MAHAADO_!"

-

"I swear, when I get my hands on those two hooligans, there'll be hell to pay!"

"_Ooh_…"

"Tch, what is it now, Karim?"

"You said _hell_."

"… Oh, shut up!"

Shimon was storming down the corridors of the Palace, followed by two of the Priests, Isis and Karim who were presently wearing on his last nerve. Ever since realizing that Mahaado and Shadi had snuck away, Shimon had been searching for them but he couldn't leave the other two Priests alone in the throne room in their current state of stupidity. So he let them tag along.

A few seconds later and they were in the vicinity of the Pharaoh's bedroom. They had searched the better half of the Palace and this was the last place to look.

"Now listen here," Shimon turned to Isis and Karim. "We're about to be in the presence of the Pharaoh and I don't want you saying anything stupid. Got that?"

They nodded mutely.

"Alright."

Shimon turned for the door and knocked firmly three times.

A few yelps and hurried whispers were heard behind the door and then a familiar squeaky voice saying: "Y-Yes? Who is it?"

"My Pharaoh, I'm sorry to bother you so late in the night but may I come in?"

"Um…"

There was a long pause, full of more shuffles and murmurs.

"… My Pharaoh?"

"Hold on!"

"…"

-

Inside the large bedchamber were five young men, each one trying to figure out what was happening. All seemed to be a bit confused except Mahaado, who apparently knew everything.

"Don't try to hide it, Atem!" Mahaado pointed his finger at the young King. "I knew you were getting it on with Seth but now this outsider? Have you no decency?"

"I'm not getting it on with anybody!" Atem cried, looking at who Mahaado had called an outsider. "I don't even know him, he's a tomb robber!"

"_Future_ tomb robber," Akefia added, meekly.

Seth grunted, narrowing his eyes at his fellow Priest. "Watch your mouth, Mahaado. Atem may be a gay idiot but he's Pharaoh so show some respect!"

"Hey!" Atem objected.

"And besides," Seth continued, "you have some nerve making accusations like that. First you and your crony come barging in here, screaming like madmen and then you accuse me of sleeping with two knuckleheads!"

Akefia twisted his mouth.

Atem mumbled: "So much for respect…"

"Wait a minute!" Shadi shouted at them all, looking back at the door. "Shimon is out there! He's going to come in here and see this guy and then ask a bunch of questions," He motioned to Akefia.

Mahaado grinned smugly. "Let him ask questions. We can say I caught a tomb robber who threatened our King,"

"He didn't threaten me!"

"MY PHARAOH?" came Shimon's voice again.

"Oh, no, he's going to come in!" Atem looked around hurriedly and then back to Akefia. "Quick, thief, get in my bed!"

The whole room was quiet.

Atem blinked, red in the face. "I-I meant to hide! _Hide_ in the bed!"

"I'M COMING IN THERE!"

Suddenly the door burst open and Shimon, along with two others came walking into the middle of the room. Shimon surveyed the chamber, and saw four young men, two of which he had been looking for all along.

"Shadi! Mahaado! What are you doing in here? Bothering the Pharaoh, no doubt! Why I should hang you by your yankee-doodles over the Nile and let the crocs snap at you!"

"Oh, Ra, no!" Shadi shouted.

Mahaado said nothing, a sly grin plastered on his face.

"Come here," Shimon ordered, chauffeuring the two out of the room. He bowed to Atem as they left. "Goodnight, my Pharaoh. And Seth, no monkey business."

"Pheh,"

When the door shut a figure from underneath the sheets of the Pharaoh's bed ruffled and a white-haired teen popped up. He looked at Atem. "It smells funny under here. Just what is it that you do in your bed?"

Seth stifled his giggles.

* * *

To Be Continued… 


	5. Rock My World

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Uber late. I know.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Five:

The next day came fast seeing as how most of the night was spent making sleeping arrangements. Pharaoh Atem took pity on the thief Akefia and said he should stay in the Palace that night; and although he received an ample about of ridiculing from Seth, he let Akefia sleep in his bed with him.

Of course, said thief had no objections. He said this was much better than camping out on a pile of camel droppings for the night. After hearing that, Seth went back to his own room to sleep.

As the sun rose into the sky, Atem's eyes fluttered open and he yawned, stretching his arms up. Though, suddenly, he felt something blocking hands. He looked down groggily and screamed.

His scream awakened the once sleeping thief and Akefia looked up, alarmed.

"W-What's wrong?"

Atem blinked and calmed down. He took in a deep breath and let his head drop onto the pillow once again. "Uhm… sorry, I forgot I let you stay in here…"

Akefia blinked and Atem sighed.

-

"Shimon, this chair is hard."

"It isn't a chair, it's a throne and please refer to me as _Advisor_ now, Pharaoh Atem."

"Why?"

"Because it's tradition. As is you getting married which will come to pass very soon."

"No, it won't."

"Ugh!"

Atem looked at his Advisor for a moment before sighing and rubbing his temples. His cousin stood at his place beside the Pharaoh's throne and when Shimon turned his back to them, they began to whisper.

"So, spill," Seth raised an eyebrow at Atem, "what happened between you and the thief last night?"

"Nothing. He fell asleep pretty fast."

"Heh heh. After or during?"

"… Seth! That's disgusting!" Atem folded his arms and turned away. "I would never stoop so low."

"Stoop low, huh? Why do you say that? He's not so bad looking."

A beat of thought. "No, he's not…"

"AHA!"

Atem nearly jumped from his throne and looked at his cousin with wide eyes. "W-What? What 'aha'?"

Seth grinned, leaning in. "You admit he's not bad looking! You think he's hot!"

"I never said hot! A-And you said it, too!"

"I only said it to trick you!"

"Yeah, right!"

Surely a physical fight would've soon arisen if it hadn't been for Shimon, coming back to see what was all the ruckus. He bopped both Seth and Atem on the head with a rock to quiet them down and, after some more arguing, got the first royal meeting underway. He directed Seth to hold up a scroll as the teen stood in front of Pharaoh Atem's throne.

"Now," Shimon looked to Seth, "tell Pharaoh Atem what is on his upcoming schedule."

"Why can't he read it himself?"

"SETH!"

"F-Fine… Okay, well first, you have to begin the construction on your tomb—"

"My tomb?"

"Dammit, will you let me finish?"

"But I'm not dead yet! I just started yesterday!" Atem objected, looking pitifully at Shimon for help.

Shimon shook his head. "You have to build it before you die. It's for good luck and a long, healthy life."

"Really?" Seth asked Shimon. "I always thought it was because when the Pharaoh did die, it'd take such a long time to build the tomb that his body would rot and smell up the whole Kingdom."

There was a pause.

Shimon whacked Seth with a rock.

"Ouch! What the hell?"

"Hold your stupidity in the presence of the Pharaoh!"

Seth pouted and turned back to the scroll, mumbling the next item of business, "P-Princesses are being imported from other countries so that you may take your pick for a bride…"

Atem looked shocked. "Shimon! I said I didn't want to get married!"

"Tough titties."

"B-But—"

Whack!

Seth snickered.

Whack!

"Ra-damn!"

-

"Seth, my head hurts…"

"Why should your head hurt? I got hit twice as many times as you. Damn Shimon…"

Atem sighed as they turned another corner. The royal meeting hadn't gone how Shimon expected and he dismissed them all early. However, the day was still young and there was much to be done around the Palace which is why the other Priests were scrubbing the floors as Seth and Atem walked down the corridors.

Mahaado looked up from the soap-soaked floor, and scowled as the two walked by. "Hey, Seth," he shouted, "why aren't you doing any work? You're a Priest as well!"

He turned around.

Shadi sighed, "Mahaado, now don't make a fuss…"

"Shut up! I'll make a fuss if I want!" He stood and pointed his finger at the brunette, "I'm tired of you getting special treatment! Just because you have a 'High' at the beginning of your title!"

Atem put his hands on his hips. "_No_, it's because he's my cousin! So be quiet, Mahaado!"

"You can't tell me what to do!"

-

In the next hallway, an obese woman farted.

-

Shadi coughed, "Technically, Mahaado, he can."

"That's right," Atem put one hand on his hip and waved the other in the air, "I'm Pharaoh now."

"And a gay one at that," Seth rolled his eyes.

"Hey!"

"Well I was only trying to be honest."

"That's right!" Mahaado gasped suddenly, "You _are_ gay, aren't you, Pharaoh?"

"_No_—"

"Yes you are."

"Shut up!"

"HEY, HEY! WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION?"

All four teens looked up from their sorted argument and down the hall where a short, dumpy-looking figure's shadow was clambering down the corridor. Shadi stood and shouted, "It's Shimon! Scatter!"

Mahaado grabbed his friend's hand and they ran away while Seth and Atem entered the nearest room and shut the door behind themselves.

Seth pressed his ear to the door. "I don't hear him anymore."

"… Um, Seth, why were _we_ running away?"

"You kidding? I don't want to be hit with another of Shimon's rocks."

"You've got a point. Hey, why does Shimon carry rocks in his dress?"

"… Not sure…"

Suddenly they heard a shrill cry from behind them. They turned around and saw a naked woman running from out of another door and she jumped out the window. Seth and Atem blinked and suddenly Akefia came shyly tiptoeing from the doorway the woman had come screaming from.

There was a silence and Atem broke it carefully. "Thief… what were you doing?"

He guiltily held up a ragged dress from behind his back. "Practicing thieving…"

* * *

To be continued… 


	6. Take Me Away

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: I am SO sorry! My sweet, dear, loveable reviewers! This story has gone un-updated for so long and it's because I couldn't write a single word! What with my new story out and needing attention and then me getting back into summer-mode!

I'll try not to take so long in the future! Thank you for your understanding! T.T

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Six:

"Thief, you cannot be stealing the clothing off our servant girls!"

Akefia pouted, his blood-red eyes downcast to the stone floor and the ripped dress being fiddled with in his hands. He sighed sadly as the two figures of royalty scolded him for his practice.

Seth looked at him now, arms folded on his chest. "I don't care if you steal their clothes, but you drove her to suicide! Now we have to pay someone to scrape her remains off the sidewalk."

Atem narrowed his eyes at his cousin. "You _would_ say something like that, Seth."

"Well someone has to say it."

"No they don't!"

A pause then and Seth whacked Atem on the back of the head. While said King cried and rubbed his hair sourly, Seth returned looking in disapproval at Akefia. "Now tell me, what kind of King of Thieves are you? You need to practice to steal?"

"Well I've never done it before," Akefia whined, "It's very hard!"

"Of course it is," said Atem with understanding in his voice.

Seth rolled his eyes. "You girl, stop trying to make him feel better!"

"Seth, you bitch, shut up!"

"Oh? Look who's calling who a bitch? Someone who likes it up the ass!"

"Damn you to Hell!"

"Well damn you to Gay Hell!"

Bored with their constant bickering, Akefia decided that this would go on for a while and that maybe he should busy himself by being productive. Seth and Atem jumped on one another and were rolling around on the bare floor. Akefia stepped over them lightly and headed for the door.

-

"Is the coast clear?"

"Do I look like a coastguard to you? How should I know?"

Whack.

"Ouch! I told you I don't like being hit with your penis!"

"Then get out there and check for Shimon!"

"Alright, alright…"

In the middle of the hallway, a stone slate that helped make up the floor jiggled and finally was thrown out of place by a tanned hand coming from underneath. Following said hand was a bald head and two curious eyes that looked from left to right and then left again. Finally, the teen thought it to be safe and hopped out of the hole, waving down to his companion.

"C'mon, Mahaado; Shimon's gone now." Shadi informed.

"Hallelujah," he sighed, crawling out himself.

When he was standing next to his friend, Shadi regarded him curiously and asked, "What does 'hallelujah' mean?"

A pause. Mahaado shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I just made it up. Maybe other people will start saying it."

"I doubt it."

"So what do you feel like doing?"

"I'm sure there're floors to be scrubbed, maybe we should get started on tomorrow's work."

Mahaado moaned, "_Shadi_!"

"Stop moaning my name, people will talk."

There was a short pause but Mahaado decided to let that one go. He turned around instead and surveyed the corridor. "There's got to be something worth our time around here…" he said to himself and was surprised when he witnessed a man coming down the hall. Mahaado recognized the long red and white coat, the short white hair and the perfectly sculpted, tan body right away. He grabbed Mahaado and brought him close.

"Stop grabbing me, people will talk."

"… Oh shut up. Look, Shadi, it's the thief we saw with Atem and Seth!" He pointed.

Shadi shrugged. "So what?"

"Let's send him out of the Palace! A common vagabond like him has no business in a place of royalty!"

"… We're not royalty either, really. Shimon picked us as Priests because we didn't have any diseases and we can write."

"… I can't write."

"Then you shouldn't be here!"

"Listen, Shadi…" Mahaado whispered, ignoring their previous conversation. "This'll be payback to Atem for always thinking he's so much better than us."

"But, Mahaado, he _is_."

"NEGATIVITY!"

Shadi blinked.

"Stop being so damn annoying and let me do the talking!" he said and waited for a nod from Shadi. He got one though it was weary and accompanied with a roll of the eyes. Mahaado strutted forward with Shadi behind him and they soon bumped into Akefia.

"Ouch! You bumped into me!" the thief whined.

"Oh, _sorry_," said Mahaado, grinning slyly. "Say, you're that thief the Pharaoh hangs out with, aren't you?"

"Um… well, actually he and Seth are busy rolling around on the floor right now."

Both Shadi and Mahaado exchanged glances.

Akefia continued, looking down at the ground, "They were really mad at me before that, though… I really didn't _mean_ to make that woman commit suicide, but I can't just forsake my obligations as Thief King. I've just _gotta_ practice on something. Now Atem and Seth are fighting again and it's all because of me…"

Mahaado nodded understandingly. He placed a hand on the other teen's shoulder. "That's too bad. Do you think maybe they wouldn't fight as much if you weren't killing off the Palace's servants and causing riots?"

Shadi frowned. "He never caused a—"

"Quiet," Mahaado mumbled, crushing his companion's foot under his own.

"OUCH!"

"As I was saying…" he continued, "Maybe you should leave."

Akefia blinked once, twice, three times and upon the third opening of his eyelids, his crimson eyes began to water. "Y-You're right! I should've never come here! I'm such a terrible person! All I wanted was to steal, rape and pillage but instead I'm breaking up friendships! I hate myself!"

"There, there," Mahaado patted him as he sobbed. "I'll help you get out of here if you want."

"Y-Yes, please!"

Shadi stood there, mouth agape. "You… horrible person!"

Mahaado gave him a thumbs up. He turned back to Akefia and guided him down the hallway. "Right this way… Shadi, here boy."

Shadi grumbled and followed the two.

-

Back in the room Seth and Atem had hidden from Shimon in, the air that was once filled with screaming and obscenities was now filled with tired panting of sorts. Both Atem and his cousin were laying on the floor next to each other, exhausted from fighting.

"I wish you'd just give up…! You're gay, Atem, and everyone knows it…" Seth wheezed.

Atem shook his head jadedly. "Not everyone…"

"Well Shimon's stupid."

"Shh!" Atem reached up and covered his cousin's mouth with his hand. "The walls have ears…"

"…" Seth pushed his hand off.

There was a moment of silence then and Atem blinked, suddenly remembering something. He sat up and looked around. "Hey, Akefia? Akefia, where are you? Seth, do you see him?"

"No."

"… You didn't even look!"

"This room is _small_, I think I'd notice some six foot two inch, half-naked thief in the vicinity."

Atem got up and looked around, not finding him. He went to the door and peeked around, checking to see Shimon at first and then running out into the hallway. "Akefia!" he called.

"Oh what are you doing?" Seth groaned.

"He doesn't know the Palace well, Seth, he might get lost!"

"He's a _thief_; I think he'll map it out."

"He's a thief that's never thieved before! C'mon, you have to help me look! That's an order!"

"Pheh… fine."

-

At the entrance gate to the Palace a few minutes later, Mahaado, Akefia and Shadi stood waiting for someone that Mahaado supposedly knew and who would take Akefia to a place where he could "be with his own kind".

"Will you tell me exactly what that's supposed to mean?" Shadi asked his fellow Priest behind his hand.

Mahaado waved the question away. "You worry about things too much, Shadi. Watch, this little arrangement will make everyone happy."

"But what if Atem gets _mad_?"

He laughed. "He can't get mad, we're only doing our job!"

"Our job does _not_ include—"

"Shh, here he comes."

Suddenly from down the dusty road came a wagon that was pulled by an old donkey. A man rode at the front and hopped off the cart when the donkey collapsed on the street.

Mahaado grinned and gave the man a high-five. "Hey there, Kyle! Here's what I got." He gestured to Akefia who'd been standing there with a maudlin look on his face.

Kyle gave him a once-over and nodded with his hand on his chin. "Very very nice. This one'll being in some good business. Thanks a lot, Mahaado, you always pull through!"

"Yes, well…" The teen laughed and examined his nails.

As Kyle shooed Akefia onto the back of the wagon, Shadi's eyes were noticed to be large saucers. He looked at Mahaado and stuttered, "M-M-Mahaado, you can't be _serious_!"

"What? Don't knock it till you've tried it."

"I-I don't want to try it! You can't do this!"

Kyle whipped his old donkey and the poor beast made a noise before picking itself up and wandering down the road, carrying Kyle and Akefia with it. Akefia looked a bit confused however he waved gratefully to Mahaado and Shadi.

"Thank you!"

Mahaado waved back, smiling. "You're welcome!"

Shadi's hand moved pitifully. "Bye-bye…"

Just as the cart was out of sight, only a trail of dust over the horizon, two familiar teens came down to the gate and looked around, finally finding the two Priests standing there. Atem asked quickly, "Hey, have either of you seen Akefia? A guy about Seth's height only really sexy?"

Seth snorted.

Mahaado put his hand to his chin and stroked it thoughtfully. He nodded. "Oh yeah…! Actually, we did see that guy."

"Well which way did he go?"

"Mahaado sold him into prostitution!" Shadi shouted, pointing at his companion.

There was a _long_ silence.

* * *

To be continued… 


	7. In Very Poor Taste

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Thanks for the great feedback, everyone. I'm so happy, I think I'll update again!

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Seven:

"Y… You did… _what_?" Atem squeaked, amethyst eyes as wide as saucers.

Mahaado shrugged. "Well I was only trying to help."

"IN WHAT WAY?"

"The thief said he felt bad about you and Seth fighting over him. He said he wanted to go away and not bother you anymore. So I simply lent a helping hand, taking him somewhere he'd feel at home." The Priests nodded to himself proudly.

Both Atem and Seth looked at each other confusedly.

"But we always fight," said Seth. "It's part of our relationship. If we didn't, that'd mean one of us was sick."

Atem gasped and his eyes began to sparkle. "Oh, Seth. A relationship?"

Seth bonked him with his fist. "Not that kind of relationship!"

Mahaado rolled his eyes and turned for the Palace. "Well it's not like anything can be done about it now. Kyle's whorehouse is the most revered in all of Thebes and with his body, the thief will make good money there. Even though Kyle does take eighty-two percent of his earnings…"

"This is disgusting," Shadi folded his arms. "I feel dirty just talking about it."

"Ha. I'm not buying that, Shadi, you love it at Kyle's."

"W-What! That's not true!" Shadi looked appalled, fidgeting with his hands and looking around. He tried to smile at the Pharaoh and High Priest. "T-That's not true of course, Mahaado's just joking, your highness! I would never partake in—"

"Threesomes? Foursomes?" Mahaado blinked. "What about last weekend when Karim and Isis talked you into licking my—"

"FINGERS! Licking your fingers, that's what you were going to say!"

"No it wasn't."

"YES IT WAS!" Shadi sweatdropped and seized his companion's hand. He began to drag him towards the Palace and waved over his shoulder to the two by the gate. "S-See ya, Atem!"

When they were out of sight, Seth pouted and looked to his cousin. "Why does no one say bye to me?"

"'Cause you're mean and surly."

"…"

"Well, Seth," Atem continued, not noticing the state of near tears Seth was brought to after that last remark. He looked towards the horizon and the sun that was beginning to set. "I guess our only option is to go rescue Akefia!"

"R-Rescue?" asked Seth, sniffling. "But he's a bandit, he likes things like that. Mahaado's right, as much as I hate to say it, Akefia's where he belongs. He'll be fine."

Atem frowned as his cousin's close-mindedness. "That's not true! Akefia's different!"

"In what way?"

"Oh… I dunno… but he doesn't seem like the type to rent himself out like that. Mahaado tricked him into it, I know he did! So c'mon, Seth, let's go get our thief back!" Atem stood there for a moment looking heroic before walking down the sandy road. Seth blinked and followed, knowing that he should've stayed in bed that morning.

-

In a neighboring village, in a small house, a woman and a man were seeing each other naked for the first time.

They stood there in a well-lit room and starred at each other's nude bodies.

The girl coughed and mumbled, "So… what… do you think?"

He nodded. "You got some nice things. Got some extra stuff there," he motioned towards her thighs.

She gasped.

"Well saddle up, baby."

"U-Uh…"

He held his hand out. "Can I take your glasses for you? Get you a cold banana?"

"…"

-

The sun had set fully over the dusty country and everyone in the Kingdom was preparing for sleep. Everyone younger than twelve and older than eighty, that is. Those in between were heading out for the night-life and to get some action. Such as the Pharaoh of said Kingdom and his High Priest who both stalked around under a carefully created disguise.

"Atem, this is so stupid." Seth rolled his eyes as he continued to walk behind his cousin, hunched over in the outfit that Atem had purchased for two and a half pieces of gold on a street corner. They were masquerading as a horse and Seth happened to be the rear-end.

"It's not stupid," Atem answered, sending him a glance. "If we were seen wandering around this part of town, one of the elders would call Shimon on us. You know he'd freak if he knew we were out this late. And going to a whorehouse, no less!"

Seth sighed.

It was about ten or fifteen more minutes until they reached their destination. Of course they didn't really know it until Atem bumped into something hard.

He peeked out of one of the holes in the horse's head.

A large man in a loincloth was at the entrance of the building and he looked down on the horse disapprovingly.

"Hey," he said. "This place is for humans only. If you want some action, you're going to have to go down the street."

"Um… Oh, wait! We're not _really_ a horse." Atem laughed. He and Seth through off the costume and stood upright.

The man blinked. "Well I'll be damned. That's gotta be the most talented horse I've ever seen."

Seth groaned. "No, we're _humans_! And we need to get in there."

"Humph. Sorry, Mac; we're all full up."

Atem smiled, jiggling in his hand a bag of gold coins.

"… Wait right here," he said and went inside. When he came back out, he had two men with him; he threw them out onto the street and then cleared his throat at Atem and Seth. "Come right in."

Atem hooted and went running in. Seth, however, tried to maintain his dignity and only went skipping inside.

Inside the establishment was a room full of people, some sitting at wooden tables, others at the bar and the rest were percolating on the dance floor, rocking out to a drunk menstrual who was doing his own rendition of 'When We Were Lesbians'.

The place was full of hookers. Though the only way that some of them could be recognized as such was the way they either swung their hips or if they were resting with their legs wide open.

"Alright, Seth," Atem whispered, "Akefia's in here somewhere."

"But how are we supposed to find him?"

"We'll pretend we're customers."

"WHAT?"

"Shh! You go that way and I go this way. We'll meet in the middle after we've talked to a couple people. Remember, act like we're regular people."

"You're a gay pervert. In Egypt, that is regular."

Atem paused, obviously affected by that comment. However, he pressed on and went to a nearby table while Seth walked into the other half of the crowd. Atem found himself sitting down alone for only a moment before a hefty looking girl with a red feather in her curly brown hair sat down with him. She had a large mole on her upper lip and a husky voice.

"Hey there, doll," she said, winking. "How much ya willin' ta spend?"

"Um… uh…" Atem cracked an intimidated smile. He didn't want to seem rude so he didn't give a straight answer. "Well, I probably have enough money to pay for anything."

Her eyes lit up and Atem right away felt that was the wrong thing to say.

She turned her head and waved her hand at a few people. "Over here!" Suddenly Atem's table was surrounded by whores of all kinds, all smiling at him and stroking him. He sighed, thinking, 'I wish I was a horse again…'

-

Back in that small house…

He leaned on the poor frightened woman and gave a toothy grin. "I could show you things… I bet we go together like black and white TV…"

"H-Help…"

-

Seth's luck seemed to be much better than Atem's.

"So I'm looking for a guy named Akefia, he's new here. You seen him?"

"Look, hun, there're tons of newbies here everyday," said the gay little pansy Seth had caught the eye of. "Kyle's always looking for new money-makers. But _I_ will always be his favorite. You see, we've always been very close, even before I started working here… which was a long time ago."

"You must be very old," Seth concluded.

"Oh yes, I—Wait! I'm not old at all! I'm only…" he counted on his fingers, "Twenty-five!"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Yeah, twenty-five times two."

"Screw you!"

"Why don't you?"

"…"

The little gay man jumped on Seth and they both went tumbling to the dirt and drink-covered floor in a ball of lust. Some of the other customers looked down and thought it to be in poor taste that they didn't go to one of the private rooms.

Meanwhile, on Atem's side of the room, he was still being mauled by all the transvestites in the place. They were cooing him and feeling around for his money while he tried to reason with them.

"L-Listen, I… AHAHAHAHAHA! Please, that tickles! No, no, not there!" Atem tried to fight them off but was incoherent due to their strange tickling methods. "O-Oh, help, Seth!"

"Can't," mumbled Seth who was under a table being tickled in quite a different fashion. "Too busy."

Yes, it certainly seemed that Kyle's whores were proving to be too much for our brave heroes to handle. All seemed dark until, lo and behold, a ray of sunshine came from down the stairs behind the bar. Actually, it was just Akefia, but the gold bangles on his wrists reflected off the candlelight and made him _seem_ like a ray of sunshine.

Atem looked up from his darkening world and a happy gasp escaped him. "AKEFIA!" he shouted and threw all the others off him. He ran up to the bar and hopped over it much to the objection of the bartender.

"Atem!" The thief-whore blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Seth and I…" Atem looked back and made a face at what he saw under the table. He turned back to Akefia. "Well, _I_ came to rescue you from this horrid place! You didn't make me and Seth fight, Akefia, we do that because we like it. You don't have to sell your body like this."

"T-That's right!" Seth called from under the table. "Oooh, yes…"

There was a bit of a pause.

Akefia tilted his head. "S-Sell my body? But I would never do that!"

Atem starred and was at a loss for words. Seth was at a loss for words also but replaced them with moans.

"T-Then… what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Oh," Akefia smiled cheerily and put his hand on his hip. "I'm a bumper."

"… Huh?"

"A bumper." He continued to smile. "If someone starts fighting, I get to kick them out."

"… You… you mean a _bouncer_?"

"Oh! I suppose so." He nodded thoughtfully.

"… Ra, you're sexy." Atem said, still starring. Akefia regarded him curiously and Atem shook his head. He shrugged his shoulders. "Well if that's all you're doing… I mean it would be a shame to take you away from making a honest living but… um…"

"But what?"

Seth decided to put in his two cents. "W-What he's trying… to say is that… Ahh… Oohh… H-He wants you to quit and… gah… and c-come… come…"

"Um…" Akefia pursed his lips together and looked at Atem. "We have _rooms_ for that kind of thing…"

"Don't mind Seth. Anyway, if you're happy here, Akefia, then that's all that matters." Atem scratched his head, looking downwards. "After Seth is done, we'll go back to the Palace…"

"Well… actually… I-I'm not happy here."

"… You're not?"

"Well no. Kyle pinches me and it's not like I even get to bounce because whenever I think there's a fight, Kyle says it's just business. So, truth be told, I'd rather go back to being King of Thieves. And… I'd rather… come back to the Palace. If you don't mind."

"Of course we don't!" Atem beamed and whirled around, "Ya hear that, Seth? Mission accomplished!"

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH…"

"… Um, yes well." Atem sweatdropped. "Let's get a move on."

* * *

To be continued… 


	8. Riggah Goo Goo Riggah Goo Goo

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: This has got to be the most random, retarded ridiculous fic I have _ever_ written. And I can get away with it… Man, it's good to be me.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Eight:

"Well that was possibly the scariest thing I've ever done," Atem said to his two companions on their way back to the Palace. The night was old and the stars began to fade overhead, the sun only an hour away. Akefia walked on his left side and Seth on his right, a satisfied smirk on the High Priest's face.

Akefia looked at them both. "I can't believe you guys actually came all that way to get me."

"Of course we did, Akefia; you're our friend." Atem assured him.

Seth rolled his eyes, sending the Pharaoh a sly glance. "Friend. Sure. We all know you have a cute crush on Akefia, Atem."

He blushed. "Shut up! And who are you to talk, Seth? I saw you under the table with that guy! You… you _are_ gay!"

The High Priest chose to ignore this. "…"

"Seth's gay, Seth's gay! Yes you are!"

"…"

"Oh man, this is freaking priceless!" Atem grinned and turned to Akefia. "Hey, hey! Seth's gay! Did you know that? Did you know?"

"Um… well—"

"We should tell the whole Kingdom!"

Seth sighed. "Well, we're just the Three Gay Pumpkins now aren't we? Why don't you shut up, Atem, it's not like anyone cares…"

They continued to walk together and all the while Atem wore a content expression on his face. He looked up at Seth from time to time and then at Akefia. A few minutes later, he stopped in his tracks and both the taller teenagers looked at him.

"What's wrong?" Akefia asked.

"Well Seth just called us the Three Gay Pumpkins!"

"… And?" they both looked at each other.

"S-So does this mean you're gay, too, Akefia?"

"Um…"

Seth blinked, now looking at him. "I was just guessing that he was."

"Why would you guess something like that?" Akefia asked in a bit of a hushed voice.

"Well you look gay."

Akefia face-faulted.

Atem sweatdropped. "Seth, that's not a kind thing to say!"

"I didn't mean it that way!"

"Maybe," Atem began, "we should save this for when we get back."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Sure. When in doubt, be gay at the royal Palace."

-

Back in the Palace, Mahaado and Shadi were in the room they shared with the other Priests. All of the others were in their bunks sleeping soundly, tired from a night of taking orders from Shimon and scrubbing the Palace's walls and floors. The other two, however, skipped their cleaning duty by hiding.

Now as they starred out of the window, they could see Atem, Seth and Akefia walking up to the front gates.

Mahaado's jaw came unhinged. "He's back! They actually went to go _get_ him?"

Shadi huffed. "Did you honestly think that they'd stand by while you sold their friend? Get a clue, Mahaado. I don't even get why you're so obsessed with him anyway, he's never done anything to you."

"Like hell he hasn't!"

"Oh? _What_ has he done?"

"… Um… Well… He… H-He stole something from me!"

Shadi tapped his foot. "What did he steal?"

"My… wiggly… thingy… Yep."

There was a pause.

Shadi tilted his head. "Your wiggly thingy?"

"Yes."

"What's a wiggly thingy?"

"Ask the thief, he stole it."

"… Hn."

Mahaado nodded confidently and pointed out of the window towards the horizon. "So now you understand! This isn't a personal battle, it's a matter of justice! He stole my wiggly thingy! And now we're on a quest to get it back!"

"… Hey, hold on! I never said I would go on any quest with you!"

There was a pause before Mahaado attached himself to Shadi's arm and placed his chin on the teen's shoulder. "But _Shadi_…!"

"Get off me."

"C'mon. I always help you with _your_ wiggly problems."

"You do not!"

"…" Mahaado grinned. "Want me to start?"

Shadi sighed, shaking his friend off. "You're a sick person."

"But you love me, don't you?"

"… Oh hell."

-

"AHH! NO, PLEASE! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh my gosh! Your leg just burned away! I didn't know I was that powerful. Holy crap."

-

"Man, I'm beat! I'll be so happy to go lay down for a few hours… You don't think Shimon will wake us up at the normal time, do you Seth?" Atem asked as the three walked down the hallway on the way to the Pharaoh's chamber.

Seth shrugged. "If he does, we've got about ten minutes so you'd better get to sleep."

"Alright. Goodnight, Seth! Er… good morning… whatever," he said as they parted ways. He and Akefia continued down the hall to Atem's room, talking idly on the way. When they arrived at the large double doors, they were in for a very strange surprise.

"Welcome to McDonalds; may I take your order?"

Both Atem and Akefia blinked at each other and then at the strange man who had set up shop in front of the doorway. He had a pile of fuzzy hair atop his head and a somewhat familiar face.

"W… Who are you?"

"Eh… That's not important. What _is_ important is that you're hungry."

Atem blinked. "I am?"

"You sure are. What you want is food."

"I do?"

"Yuppers. So you're going to order something."

"I am?"

"… _Yes_."

Atem blinked again and looked to his friend. "Akefia, do you know this guy?"

He nodded, "I do. I've seen him before, I just… can't say where from. Hey, why don't you order something?"

"Yeah, yeah." The man obviously agreed. "Order something. Real cheap. Anything on the menu for just one wiggly thingy."

A pause.

"Wiggly thingy…" Atem frowned. "But I want to keep mine."

The man turned his head. "What about you? Feel hungry?" he asked Akefia.

"I'm sure you don't have what I want."

"Sure I do! What is it?"

Akefia sighed and mumbled something. Both the man and Atem tilted their heads. Akefia repeated, "I-I want a… a french-fry."

The other two gasped, appalled at this request.

The man at the door grimaced. "That is just sick and wrong."

Atem looked at his friend disapprovingly. "Akefia."

"I told you he wouldn't have it…"

"Listen," He said. "How about I order it for you? It'll take a while but you'll get it… eventually. Anyway, just give me your wiggly thingy now, okay?"

The King of Thieves looked again at the Pharaoh as ifsearching for his approval. Atem shrugged, seemingly only wanting to go to bed. Akefia nodded and slowly reached into his skirt and pulled out…

* * *

To be continued…

(Her Sweetness: A cliffhanger! Ahahahahaha!)


	9. Smoothies, Tombs and Insurance, Oh My!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Well… urm, not much to say this time. Just enjoy, okay?

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Nine:

Akefia pulled out a five-inch worm and placed it in the man's hand.

He starred at it. "What the hell is this?"

"My wiggly thingy." Akefia said proudly. "When you order my french-fry, please make it extra crispy."

"Wow, Akefia." Atem smiled, looking up at the teen. "You're so brave; I never would've given my wiggly thingy up like that."

"Well I have lots, I find them in the ground."

"That's amazing!"

The man who'd been sitting in front of the door shrugged and got up. He began to walk away and Akefia called to him, "Hey! Don't forget my french-fry!"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved back, dismissing the silly thief. Once he had rounded the corner, he shook his head and off came that tacky wig. Which was revealed to be a cat who'd been napping in the wrong place. The McDonalds man was also revealed to be Shadi.

Suddenly Mahaado popped out of nowhere and sidled up to his friend. "So, so?" he asked, excitedly, "How'd it go?"

"It was freaky."

Mahaado looked hurt. "What do you mean?"

"Where do you come up with this stuff? Welcome to McDonalds?"

He grinned. "I know. Creative little devil, aren't I?"

Shadi stifled a laugh. "Creative's not really the word _I_ would use—"

"Enough talking!" Mahaado whined and stuck out his hands. He did a little wiggle dance. "Lemme see it! Lemme see it now, okay?"

Shadi rolled his eyes and dropped in Mahaado's hand what was dropped in his. Mahaado took a moment to blink and finally said, "What the hell is this?"

"A _wiggly thingy_," said Shadi quite sarcastically. He added, "What's wrong, Mahaado? Is this not what you meant by wiggly thingy?"

"Ummmm. S-Sure it is! Gimme that!" He took the little worm and held it for a second. He blinked and threw it over his shoulder. "Alright, I'm done."

"W-What?" Shadi shouted. "After that quest that _I_ alone had to endure, you're throwing away your wiggly thingy? But why?"

"Eh."

"_Eh_?"

"Somehow it's just not the same…" He looked towards the ground. "Something's changed. It's changed. But maybe it's for the better. We just seem to have grown apart. I remember those hot summer nights when we used to wiggle around in the dirt together. I don't think we can ever go back to what we had. It's better if we part and I'll remember him fondly."

"… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Hell if I know. C'mon, let's go get smoothies."

"Alright."

-

Atem looked out onto his Kingdom from the balcony on the fourth level of the Palace. Shimon stood next to him and waited proudly for the Pharaoh to say something regarding the timely fashion in which his tomb was being constructed. Atem squinted in the midday sun and finally he said, "Well it looks great, Shimon, but it's a bit big."

"Of course. All your precious treasures will be buried along with you, my King."

Atem blinked. "Really?"

"… Uh, yeah."

"Wow! That's so great; Shimon, this is fantastic!"

The Advisor was a tad bit confused but tried to hide it. "Well I'm happy if you're happy, Atem."

The Pharaoh was obviously so overcome with joy that he whooped and ran through the curtains, back into the main room. Shimon blinked and looked on as a dark blue cape flashed out of the room and into the hallway.

-

Just outside the Palace, Seth had somehow found it in his heart to help Akefia out with his practice of thieving.

"Okay," said Seth as he looked down on his pupil. "Now the first thing you have to remember about thieving is that it's not a wimp's sport! It's bloody! And when you get caught, you'll be decapitated with a blunt piece of stone!"

"…"

Seth grinned. "Still want to be Thief King?"

"Um… uh… d-do I have insurance?"

Right as Seth was about to answer that, the two of them were interrupted by a familiar hyperactive voice that came bopping out of the Palace doors.

"_SETH_!"

"Oh good lord…"

Atem ran over and jumped up, wrapping his arms around his cousin's neck. "Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth! Guess what?"

"You're a drunken, gay sot and you need to stop dry-humping me?"

"… You are terrible at guessing-games, Seth." Atem frowned and then noticed his friend sitting not two feet in front of them, legs crossed. The Pharaoh smiled down at him. "Hey there, Akefia! Wanna guess what?"

"Urm… What?"

"Well Shimon just told me—"

"Hey, hold on," Seth furrowed his brow, looking up at the teenager on his back. He pointed down to Akefia and said, "How come when I guessed you said I was a bad guesser but when _he_ guesses—and he didn't even make a real guess—you start shooting off your mouth?"

"… Seth, are you jealous?"

"NO! No, I am not! J-Just tell your damn story already!" he huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

"Okeydokey. So what I was saying was that Shimon and I were watching the workers build my tomb and he said it was so big because they had to bury my treasures with me!"

Akefia and Seth exchanged glances.

"_So_?" the High Priest asked.

"So that means you, Akefia and I will all share one tomb!"

"…"

"…"

There was a moment of silence and finally Seth broke it, letting Atem slide off his back. "Atem, as sweet as that is—and as creepy—_I_ will have my own tomb."

"Oh, I don't mind being buried with you," Akefia raised his hand. "Nobody makes tombs for Thief Kings."

"Hey, that's not true!" said Atem. "Look, we'll build you one right now."

Twenty minutes later…

Akefia sat staring at a two by two foot hole in the ground. He looked back up at Atem with a worried expression. "_That's_ my tomb?"

Seth rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't be so picky, Akefia. After all, it's for when you die, I seriously doubt you'll care how… ugly it is."

"But… But I don't think—"

"Hold it." Atem raised his hand.

"…"

"…"

"What?" Akefia asked.

A moment later, Atem smiled joyously. He pointed to the sky. "I just got an idea!"

Seth huffed. "Must be leap year."

Atem continued on, "Listen. They're building my tomb, right? Chances are at the speed they're going, it'll be done pretty soon! So that means we'll have a _real_ tomb for Akefia to practice on! Doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

"It sounds like something that'll get us hit with some of Shimon's rocks," Seth looked disapprovingly at his cousin. "And why would you suggest that someone rob you?"

"Akefia's my friend! You'll do it, Akefia, won't you?"

Suddenly both sets of eyes were on the Thief King and he hesitated before looking back at the High Priest. "W-Well, now you never did tell me about my insurance…"

* * *

To be continued… 


	10. Down By The Tomb

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Meow…

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Ten:

When night fell, the Pharaoh received good news. His tomb was finally complete.

"Wow, that was fast," he said to Shimon as they stood in the throne room with other guards.

Shimon nodded sagely. "That's because, Pharaoh, we imported workers from down south."

"Oh Shimon! You weren't harassing the Smurfs again, were you?"

"But my Pharaoh—"

"For _shame_, Shimon." Atem shook his head and was instantly bashed with a rock. He yelped and cradled the bruised spot as his Advisor shimmied away. After he'd taken care of the spot, he went off to his room to find both Seth and Akefia.

When he arrived to the Pharaoh's bedchamber, he opened the door to find the two, Akefia and his cousin, on the bed.

Seth was grinning at the thief, his finger in the boy's mouth. "Now I want you to—Oh, shit… Uh, hey Atem." Seth's hand zipped back onto the bedspread.

"…" Atem narrowed his eyes. "Seth, what were you doing to him?"

"Nothing! Ra! Why is it always me?"

"I dunno, why IS it always you?"

"We weren't doing anything." He folded his arms.

Akefia blinked. He looked at the High Priest. "But… what about… Y-You said you wanted to touch my a—"

"APPLES!" Seth shouted, squeezing Akefia's mouth shut. "I-I WANTED TO TOUCH YOUR _APPLES_!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh whatever," Atem pouted. "Just forget it. Listen, Shimon told me the tomb was all done."

"That fast?"

"The Smurfs did it."

"Oh, figures."

"Yeah, so let's get a move on." Atem winked. "Akefia, you ready?"

"U-Um, sure… I mean, it should be fun, right?"

Seth shrugged. "Hey, decapitation's a blast."

"…!"

-

A little ways outside the Palace was a local bar, right on the borderline of the Palace boundary and the village. Sitting at two of the outside barstools were Mahaado and Shadi. They'd taken their time with their smoothie-run to keep from Shimon's grasp for as long as possible.

"It's just a mess, Shadi," said Mahaado as he took a sip from his guava and mango-flavored drink.

Shadi tilted his head. "What is?"

"… What, can't you hear it?"

"H-Hear what, Mahaado?"

The blonde teen sipped on the straw harder. "The march of the gays. They're devouring Egypt! Don't tell me you haven't noticed everyone putting on their poodle-skirts lately. Egypt's overrun and _now_ we have a gay Pharaoh!" He put his head on the bar miserably.

"Gay Pharaoh? Hell, we have gay Priests."

Mahaado's head flew up. "Who?"

"Well Akunadin is always off at Butt-Plug Conventions and we all know Seth is a closet-gay. Isis and Karim are lesbians and—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. _Lesbians_? But Karim is—"

"Yeah, that obviously doesn't matter when he's with Isis."

"… Wow, we're all a bunch of freaks."

"Totally." There was a pause.

Mahaado coughed loudly as he pushed his smoothie away. "Uh, everyone except _us_ that is. 'Cause we're not gay."

Shadi blinked and scratched his head nervously. "Of course not! Ha, us gay. What a joke."

"Yup."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Suddenly, breaking the silence, were the loud sounds of a bickering twosome. Both Mahaado and Shadi swiveled their barstools around to see Seth, Atem and Akefia walking down the street, the High Priest and Pharaoh into their argument as usual.

They were on their merry way past the bar and Mahaado called out to them. "Hey, hey! Where're you guys going?"

Seth turned around, scowling when he saw the Priest's familiar face. "We're off to see the Wizard. Wanna join us, Scarecrow?"

Mahaado's eyes widened. "Jeez! What's with the hostility?"

"I don't like you."

"… Um…"

"Oh, Seth." Atem frowned at the brunette. He turned and tilted his head at Mahaado and Shadi. "We're going to rob my tomb."

"Okay…"

"Yeah, so… See you guys later!" Atem waved to them and the three were off again, Atem and Seth resuming their argument where they'd left off and Akefia quiet as usual.

-

After just a little while of walking, the three were tired and commandeered a donkey from a farmwoman. She was very kind to them and only screamed a little bit as they rode off into the dusty night with her only source of transportation. They traveled much faster on the little donkey; Atem rode up front, Akefia in the middle and Seth bringing up the rear in a very uncomfortable position.

"Hey, hey!" He wailed. "I'm falling off!"

Atem tilted his head back. "What do you want us to do about it?"

"We need a bigger donkey!"

"Oh hush. We're almost there."

Actually, that was a lie and the tomb was another five miles away. But when they did arrive, Seth was very happy and fell off the donkey to the sandy ground. The tomb sat in front of them, about fifty yards away, lit on the outside by two torches and a few guards who stood in the doorway, marching back and forth.

"Quick, get over here!" Atem cried to Seth and, with Akefia's help, dragged the Priest up and behind a few rocks closer to the large structure.

Soon three heads popped up above the rocks, and three pairs of eyes surveyed the area.

"Okay…" Atem drawled, eyes darting.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Alright, Pharaoh, so tell us what your brilliant plan for this is."

"Well I—"

"Oh my Ra, oh my Ra, oh my Ra!" Akefia cried, throwing his arms around Atem's neck and rubbing his head into the King's shirt. "No _way_! I cannot do this, Atem; just look at those guards! They're all… huge!"

Atem blinked. "That's just 'cause they're far away. Akefia, I'm sure you're bigger than they are."

"In more ways than one," Seth added.

Atem shot him a glare.

Akefia sobbed again. "But they probably have really big weapons!"

"Shut up, Seth."

"I didn't even say anything yet!"

"You were going to though, right?"

"Heh, damn straight."

After a roll of the eyes, Atem turned back to the thief giving him a vote of confidence. "Don't worry about it," he said cheerily. "You'll do great, I just know it! Now, get in there and rob me blind! Seth and I will be cheering you on from out here."

"… Oh… okay…"

Akefia rose from his spot on the ground and trudged off into the shadows of the structure. Seth tilted his head.

Atem frowned. "SETH!"

"_What_? I was looking at his… cute shoes?"

"Not going to work."

"Crap."

-

About five hours later, the sun was close to rising. Atem and Seth had been passing the time by using self-made slingshots to shoot at birds and bypassing camels.

"Twenty-nine," Seth said after shooting yet another poor camel. He grinned. "Face it, Atem, you'll never beat me."

"Well you take illegal shots!"

"All's fair in camel-shooting."

"… That's a stupid saying…"

Suddenly a familiar face popped up right behind them and nearly scarred the two to death.

Akefia laughed happily. "I'm back," he sang.

Atem held his chest, breathing raggedly. "O-Oh… It's you, Akefia… Well congratulations, welcome back!"

"Thanks!"

Seth blinked. "So what'd you steal?"

"… Huh?"

Both Atem and Seth exchanged glanced. Seth repeated, "What'd you steal? From the tomb?"

"…"

"Akefia?"

"Oh crap, I knew I forgot something!"

"…"

"…"

* * *

To be continued… 


	11. Karim: The Secret Lives of Priests

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Alright, **listen**. This chapter is a short interlude in the story in which we find out just what a Priest's day consists of, told through the eyes of Karim, holder of the millennium scales. Enjoy!

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Eleven:

The sun came through the large hole in the wall of my sleeping quarters and I was awake. It was pretty tough getting to sleep last night—like every night—because of that huge hole. Not only is there a terrible draft but birds like to come in and defecate on our faces. But I think we've gotten pretty used to it.

'We' being my fellow Priests and I. We all share a room. It's small and the bunk beds we have to sleep in are uncomfortable but with some beautiful decorations (I.e. used piñatas from the Pharaoh's 6th birthday party) it feels just like home.

"Come on, Karim, you're going to make us late for breakfast."

I looked down from by bed and saw Isis struggling to put on her outfit. She's convinced herself that she's still a size four. I tell you, that butt has gotten _big_.

"Alright," I said and hopped down. Luckily for me, I'm a size two and have no trouble dressing myself. I think that's part of the reason Isis choose me for her girlfriend. My measurements are off the charts!

When she got the thing on (ignoring the bulges appearing everywhere), I looked around and asked, "Where're the others?"

"I think Mahaado and Shadi went down early. You know how they like to hog all the bacon. And I'm not sure Akunadin has returned yet."

"Gee, I hope he comes back soon," I said and we walked down the hallway. Akunadin is the oldest of us and, in my opinion, the wisest. But he's always off at weird get-togethers. Like two weeks ago when he went off to that S-and-M Conference in Rome. Then a Incest Seminar in India the following week. I really miss him.

Well we soon got to the dining hall. Correction—the _Priest_ dining hall. It's different from the regular one. How? Well for one, it's way smaller. We're not allowed to eat with the Pharaoh, only Seth and Shimon can do that. We're condemned to eat in the basement of the Palace with the rats. But it could be worse, right?

Mahaado and Shadi were already there like Isis had previously thought. We sat down with them right as Mahaado looked up from his plate, his mouth full of rotten foodstuffs.

"Mmf mmmmph mmm," he said.

Isis and I exchanged glances.

Shadi looked at him. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

He swallowed. "I wasn't talking, I was choking. No one helped me, I could've died!"

Isis rolled her eyes. "If we should all be so lucky."

"Hey hey," Mahaado narrowed his eyes at her. "Just what's your problem today?"

"She's on her period," I said.

First thing after that, I received a good bonk on the back of the head. I moaned and cradled the bruise while my lovely girlfriend cracked her knuckles and addressed the other two, "Yes, I am. It's been going on for two weeks, I'm sick and tired of it!"

"It's because you don't eat enough grains," said Shadi matter-of-factly. "Everyone knows that eating grains regularly helps keep menstruation consistent in three-day cycles."

There was a silent moment.

I had no idea Shadi was such an expert. I waited for Isis' reaction.

She cleared her throat and motioned towards the food that was on the table. "Well, Shadi, I _would_ eat grains regularly but, if you haven't noticed, we're not _fed_ grains! This food is slop, it's not fit for an animal! I mean look at this; the eggs are rotten, the bacon is _bloody_ and Shimon peed in our orange juice!"

I shrugged. "Isis, he's an old man, he can't help it."

"HE CAN CONTROL HIS DICK LONG ENOUGH TO GET IT OUT OF OUR CUPS!"

I braced myself for another punch but nothing came. Instead, she knocked over her orange juice and folded her arms, huffing madly.

Mahaado looked down at the spilt liquid. "Hey, are you going to—"

"NO, I'M NOT!"

"… Then can I—"

"NO, YOU CANNOT!"

"Well shit." Mahaado stood from his chair, scraping the rest of his food into the fanny pack made of bamboo on his hip. "Come on, Shadi," he said and Shadi followed him out of the room.

Sometimes those two just leave. I have no idea where they go and when I asked Isis her thoughts, she said it was none of our business. Still, it's very odd that they're always together that way. It's a mystery.

Well after breakfast it's time to attend our Priestly duties. Shimon makes us report to the throne room right after we've eaten. Isis doesn't think it's fair; she says our food hasn't had a chance to digest yet.

We arrived and right away Shimon was in a bad mood.

"Where the hell is that Akunadin?" He shouted, waving his arms above his head. Isis and I stood in front of him with three empty spots next to us. Apparently, Mahaado and Shadi were still somewhere doing something. "And those two hooligans," Shimon continued, "where have they gone off to this time? Do either of you know?"

I raised my hand.

"Yes, Karim?"

"I don't know," I confessed. It's always important to tell the truth.

A rock was thrown at my head.

As I cried, Isis sighed, raising her hand.

"Yes, Isis?"

"Would you like us to go look for them, Shimon?"

"No… Actually, yes. I bet my balls they're off bothering the Pharaoh. Both of you, go find them! And when you do, tell them they've got extra chores!"

"Yes, sir," we said in unison and went off into the nearest hallway. As we left Shimon behind and were out of his earshot, Isis began to grumble and complain to me as she usually does. At night, she'll tell me all of her problems, yell at me, bonk me and then suck on me a little before she falls asleep and I have to slide her into her bunk. That's our sex-life in a nutshell.

She continued on, "And I had a good mind to confront that Shimon just now."

"'Bout what?" I asked.

"'_Bout_ peeing in our orange juice! I mean, it's freaky and not to mention disgusting!"

"Eh."

"Eh?"

"Well, it's a bit bitter but I wouldn't call it disgusting."

She didn't say anything and I wondered if I'd upset her.

Finally we came to the Pharaoh's bedchamber. He and the High Priest have been in there a lot lately and it may be my imagination but I could've sworn I saw a tall, muscular man with white hair entering and exiting that room as well. Perhaps it's the ghost of the previous Pharaoh? No, Atem's dad was much uglier. And he had a spare tire.

Isis strutted up to the large door and knocked. She called out, "Mahaado, Shadi; if you're in there, come on out! Shimon sent us to get you!"

"Yeah," I added.

There was no answer and in a moment the door opened and the Pharaoh's head popped out. "Yes?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

I fell to my knees, bowing over and over again. "Oh great Pharaoh! We're sorry to have bothered you! Please excuse our folly—"

Isis kicked me in the head and I forgot what I was saying.

Atem smiled. "What's up? You guys need something?"

"Yeah," Isis nodded. "Have Mahaado and Shadi been around here? We're looking for them."

"Well, sorry but I haven't seen them. Hold on," he turned his head around, simultaneously opening the door an inch more. He looked back and I was able to see inside the room, on the royal bed, the High Priest Seth and that well-toned man I've been seeing.

He asked them, "Hey, guys, have either of you seen Mahaado or Shadi?"

Seth shook his head. He had that same bored expression on his face that he always wore even as he lay to the side of that other man, pinching his auburn nipples. "Nope," he said.

The white-haired one however nodded thoughtfully. "I thought I saw them on the second floor this morning… Ouch, Seth…"

"Shut up."

Atem turned his attention back to us. "Second floor," he said, giving us a salute.

"Alright, thanks," Isis said.

"Oh mighty Pharaoh," I wailed, "Many thanks for your—"

Another kick and another lost speech. Because of my lovely girlfriend's feet, I've lost so many good lines.

We started off again, this time climbing the stairwell to the second floor. When we reached the first hallway, Isis put her hand on her hip. "Well _this_ will take forever. I wish they could've been more specific."

"We'll just have to take it one room at a time."

It was about ninety-seven rooms later that we were ready to give up. As we entered the sixth hallway, Isis was extremely irritable and without our fellow Priests about, she was taking it out on me.

"Why can't you be smarter, Karim," she shouted, narrowing her eyes at me as we walked along. "I mean, a tossed salad could outwit you! And what is up with your haircut? It annoys the hell out of me! I should shave you while you're sleeping! Better yet, I'll shave you now!"

I was about to run but as she backed me up against a door, we both heard familiar voices. She stopped, putting her razor back into her pocket and leaned against the door. I listened in too and this is what we heard:

"So what do you think? Is it a mole?"

"I have no idea what it is. You should get it looked at."

"You are looking at it!"

"I meant a doctor. That looks infected."

"Should I pop it?"

"No… Well… I mean, maybe. Is it popable?"

"I dunno… You do it, I'm squeamish."

"Alright. Hold still. … Hold still!"

"No, cut it out, that hurts!"

"It won't if you hold still! Stop wiggling!"

"Shadi!"

"Mahaado!"

"It's them," Isis and I shouted jointly and I opened the door, revealing a very interesting scene. It was a broom closet in which sat Mahaado, naked, on a empty bucket and Shadi leaning over him, holding his member in his hand.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. I wanted to ease the tension and make a comment on how nice and large Mahaado's penis was but Isis beat me to it.

She put a hand on her hip, grinning. "Well, well, well. So this is what you two do in your spare time."

"N… No, wait a minute, this isn't how it looks!" Mahaado cried, fumbling for his pants.

Shadi wiped his hands vigorously on his shirt. "Yeah, honestly, we weren't—"

"You don't have to be ashamed," I said, still attempting to comfort them. "Everyone gets horny sometimes."

This didn't have the effect I was looking for and my comment seemed to send the two screaming from the room. Isis was laughing uncontrollably but I found it rather sad.

Fast forward to a little later when we were all in the throne room ready for Shimon's orders. Usually we just clean the Palace up with toothbrushes but sometimes we get to practice magic with our millennium items. But lately we haven't been doing that. Last time I accidentally sent Shimon to the Shadow Realm and he came back with a pair of boobs that even made Isis jealous!

He got them amputated of course but sometimes when I'm alone at night, I find myself missing their firmness.

Today we had to clean the bathrooms one at a time. We weren't allowed to split up into groups because Shimon thought Shadi and Mahaado would run off again. But even though we had to scrub on our hands and knees for hours and hours, it was nice to be together and I told them so.

"You're so stupid," they said in unison upon hearing my confession.

After dinner—which consisted of week-old potatoes, wilted cabbage and Shimon's special orange juice—we went back to our bunkroom and decided to spend our before-bed-time wisely and figure out a way to patch the hole in the room.

Shadi was the first to give a suggestion. "We could always put a sheet in front of it."

Isis laughed, "The birds would fly right through it. Besides, we don't have an extra sheet and I'm sure no one here wants to sleep in this dank room without cover."

"We could _ask_ the birds to stay out."

No one responded to my idea and I was just fine with that.

"We could put Karim in front of it," Mahaado said.

I admit, I was a bit worried when they all began to consider it. But my lovely girlfriend—bless her heart—stepped in on my behalf. "Karim's not big enough to block it. And anyway, the birds would laugh at him."

"You're right," Mahaado and Shadi concurred.

"Well then what do we do?" I asked.

Shadi sighed tiredly. "Well… it's getting late. I propose we work on this problem tomorrow and get some sleep."

We all earnestly agreed.

After a quick goodnight to my fellow Priests, we all climbed into our respective places; my bunk over Isis' and Mahaado's over Shadi's. I felt the wind blowing on me and shivered. Then we all audibly shuddered when we heard the familiar cawing and began to feel wet slop on our faces. It is pretty nasty but somehow, I've gotten used to it. I hope the rest of them feel as at home here as I do.

Well… goodnight!

* * *

To be continued… 


	12. Hanky Panky

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: First of all I would like to say thank you for indulging me last chapter. We shall carry on in normal tense and perspective with the second part of the story. Heh heh… I have decided this story will be in three parts. That last chapter was the ending of part one. This chapter is beginning part two.

Hope you have fun.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Twelve:

Another day rose over the sandy lands of Egypt. As the bright sunrays entered the window high in the royal Palace in the room of the Pharaoh, two amethyst eyes blinked and finally opened. Atem yawned widely as he stretched his arms above his head. He jerked them back down after hitting something soft and breathing.

He looked to his left only to find Seth's brown-haired head on the pillow next to him.

There was a pause.

Atem's eyes widened and then narrowed mischievously as he sat upright in bed. He giggled devilishly to himself, thinking, '_Ohmigosh_. I can't believe… Seth and I… we must've! But then…' He looked over on the other side of his cousin finding Akefia sleeping soundly, snuggled up to Seth's chest. Atem gasped. 'Did all three of us…?'

"OH MY _FREAKING_ RA," Atem shouted, jumping from his spot under the covers on top of the bed. The mattress jiggled with his 102 pounds and woke the other two with a wild start.

"Wh-What's going on?" cried Akefia, starring up at the Pharaoh in wonder.

Seth grumbled sourly, rubbing at his left eye and standing up along with his cousin. He glared at the teen. "Just what the hell is your problem? I had a really rough time last night and I don't need your screaming in my ear waking me up at indecent hours."

"Oh I'll bet!" Atem grinned knowingly. He leaned in, poking Seth's chest.

"Ow!"

"You don't need my screaming, huh? Bet you weren't saying that last night!"

"… Huh?"

The Pharaoh giggled. "Ooh hoo hoo, don't you 'huh' me, Seth! We did the nasty last night!"

"… What the hell?"

"Wow…" Atem scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. "And I don't even remember getting naked! It must've been one of those heated moments of passion where a flock of seagulls stripped my clothes away."

Seth blinked and whispered to Akefia, "Kid's gone crazy."

"Oh gosh…"

"Akefia!" Atem shouted out, scampering across the bedspread and threw Seth's legs to get to Akefia. Said thief drew into the covers as Atem approached him excitedly. "So tell me, was it you who took my virginity? Didja, didja, didja?"

"Oh… um…"

"What flavor lube did you use? Tell me it was coconut!"

"Seth, I'm frightened!"

"Come here, you!" Seth strode across the mattress and picked Atem up by the back of his neck, coming face to face with the boy. "First you scream and holler and wake us up then you run around the bed like some madman talking about coconut lube and seagulls! What's up with you this morning? You're worse than usual!"

Atem blinked a few times then the tears started to flow. "Oh Seth… is this our first fight?"

"… Our first fight? Our first fight started after you came out of your mother's womb and peed in my face."

"I meant as lovers!"

"_LOVERS_?"

This time it was Akefia who blinked questionably, looking at the two of them. He said, "You mean… you two… last night? _While I was in the bed_?"

"No," Seth shouted. He looked at Atem, "None of that ever happened!"

Atem stared. "You mean none of us had sex last night?"

"… Let's instead say there was no sexual _intercourse_."

"What's that mean?"

"Nothing."

Akefia looked at Atem, saying, "Why in the world would you think we had sex?"

"B-Because Seth was sleeping in here! Usually it's just you and me, Akefia. And the fact that I can't remember a thing that happened last night! I figured Seth knocked me out and you both took hot, sweaty advantage of me. And I'm just fine with that!"

"…"

"…"

Akefia said slowly, "Atem, that didn't happen."

"It… It didn't?"

"Hell no," Seth rolled his eyes. "I'll tell you what happened. You were bouncing on the bed and I kicked your legs from underneath you. You hit your head on the headboard and knocked yourself unconscious. And I only slept here because Akefia was afraid you'd wake from the dead and eat his brains."

Atem looked at the Thief King.

Akefia shrugged pitifully. "Sorry…"

-

In the next hallway, Shimon caught Mahaado sucking on a firm banana.

"Mahaado! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Unfortunately, said Priest was too into his fruit to notice he was being reprimanded. "Mmm… banana."

-

Seth chuckled, looking at the now very embarrassed Pharaoh. "I think someone has a very active imagination. It's clear what you think about during the day, Atem."

"Oh shut up, Seth," Atem blushed. "You like Akefia too."

"W-What? What makes you say that?" he shouted.

"Well yesterday you were in the bathroom jacking-off with one hand and holding Akefia's left shoe in the other!"

Seth's jaw dropped. "Y-You saw that?"

"Sure did, you sicko!"

Akefia's face lit up. "Oh, Seth, you found my left shoe? I've been looking for it since yesterday morning!"

Atem crinkled his nose. "I don't think you want it back now, Akefia, it's all sticky."

"Oh dear."

Seth groaned.

"So, Akefia," Atem said smugly, "What do you think of Seth now that you know he's a huge pervert?"

"Listen, Atem, I'm gonna—"

"Oh I don't mind!" Akefia cut in and caused both boys to look at him, wide eyed. He continued, scratching the back of his head and blushing. "I mean… Well, I think it's kind of sweet."

Atem's eye twitched. "Sweet…?"

Seth blinked. "R-Really?"

"Yeah… ummmm… that's not bad, is it? Well because I was just thinking that if you really liked me that much that… ummmm… ooh, gee, I forgot what I was going to say. Anyway, the point is… golly, I forgot that, too…" Akefia laughed, "I guess I'm just a big silly!"

There was a pause.

"Conference," Seth announced and Atem nodded in concurrence. They both turned around in a small huddle on the bed, leaving Akefia highly confused.

Seth whispered to his cousin, "He's freaking sexy and he wants me!"

"He does not!" Atem frowned. "He's young and confused; you see how innocent he is! I'll be damned if I let you take advantage of him, Seth!"

"Oh but cousin-of-mine…" the High Priest grinned, "you forget that I can kick your ass!" Without another word, Seth smacked Atem in the back of the head, knocking him off the bed and onto the floor with a giant thud.

"OW…"

Seth jumped backwards, landing on the pillow next to Akefia. He put an arm around the thief. "Now what were you saying about wanting to be tied to the bed and go at it Smurf-style?"

"I-I don't remember saying…"

"SETH!" Atem launched himself onto his cousin and sent them both off the other side of the bed and onto the floor. Akefia blinked, looking over the edge.

The thief gasped as he witnessed what they were doing to each other. "Atem! Seth! Please stop that!"

"Agh!"

"Let go of me!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?" Suddenly the door to the bedroom busted open and Shimon came storming in, armed with rocks.

He surveyed the scene before him horror-stricken. Both Atem and Seth were wrestling on the floor by the bed and tangled in the covers was a complete stranger. Shimon gasped and ran over, throwing rocks at the heads of the Pharaoh and High Priest.

Seth rolled off of Atem, holding his head. "Ra-damn!"

Shimon threw another rock at him. "No cursing in the presence of the Pharaoh!"

Atem would've stuck his tongue out at Seth if he hadn't been tending to his own wounds. Shimon strode over to the tanned teenager on the bed and hit him over the head with a rock. "Just who are you and what are you doing in the Pharaoh's bedchamber?"

"Oww…" Akefia whined, "My name is Akefia, I'm the King of Thieves and I sleep here! Man, that really hurt…"

Shimon's body grew ridged and he turned to Atem. "He… _sleeps_ here?"

"N-Now, Shimon…" Atem began to back away, "It's not what it looks like…!"

"GGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

-

Outside of the Palace, Mahaado and Shadi were standing around in the courtyard, enjoying each other's company.

Shadi sweatdropped, looking at his companion. "How long are you going to suck that banana?"

Mahaado glared at him, saying over the fruit, "Hey. I don't bother you when _you're_ sucking on things."

"Ugh."

Suddenly the wall on the fourth level of the Palace blew out, rocks and rubble flying everywhere. People down below ran around screaming and Mahaado continued to suck. Shadi shaded his eyes from the sun and squinted to see four bodied flying out of the building.

"Hey, Mahaado! Look!"

"Can't. Still busy."

"Dammit, Mahaado, let go of that damn banana and watch out—AHH!"

* * *

To be continued… 


	13. He's Got A Nub And We Have Lift Off

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: … Does anyone wonder where I get these chapter titles from?

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Thirteen:

"Now just what the hell is going on around here?"

Shortly after the fourth level wall had been blown sky-high and everyone included in the explosion were considerably unharmed, Shimon began his questioning. Seth, Akefia and Atem sat on a bench in the middle of the courtyard with scratches and bruises all over their bodies. They sat in a guilty silence as they were reprimanded.

"Well?" Shimon glared at the three. "Just who is this Thief King?"

Atem sighed, knowing Seth probably wouldn't help at all. "Um," he began, "Akefia is my friend."

"Your _friend_ has been sleeping in your _bed_? _With you in it_?" Shimon's voice grew higher.

"Well hey, Seth was in bed with us too!"

Shimon's eyes widened.

Seth groaned, "Wait a minute, it's not—"

"SCANDAL!" Shimon shouted, scaring the boys half to death. "Do you even know what will happen if this kind of thing gets out? Do you?"

"No but I'm sure we'll find out if you keep screaming about it," said Atem.

Whack.

"Ouch!"

Shimon wielded his rock like a dagger. "Atem, this is serious. No princess will ever want to marry you if you continue to act so strangely. How many times have we had this talk?"

Atem stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Actually, I think we've just reached our 316th anniversary," he said.

Whack.

"_Ouch_…!"

"And you," Shimon turned his sights on the High Priest. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Ummmm. I was forced?"

"Seth, you damn liar!" Atem shouted, holding his head.

Whack.

Whack.

Shimon continued, "I know we're Eqyptian but you think you could show some restraint when it comes to incest! I mean take me for example; you don't see me screwing around with _my _family members."

Atem blinked. "I didn't know you had any family, Shimon."

"Why of course. I have a fish at home. And we haven't had sex in close to five years."

"…"

"…"

"…"

All three teens were silent.

Seth coughed. "Moving right along…"

Akefia decided to speak up on the other two's behalf. "E-Excuse me, Shimon but… we didn't have sex. Seth slept in Atem's room last night because I was afraid of zombies."

"Do you honestly expect me to fall for that one?"

"Yes," Akefia said pleadingly.

"…"

-

"Hey, hey, Shadi! Hey, Shadi!"

"What _is_ it, Mahaado?"

Shadi had been sitting on his bunk in the Priests' living quarters, quietly contemplating the meaninglessness of his life when Mahaado busted into the room, immediately poking at him. Shadi tolerated it for a moment before answering his hyperactive friend.

Mahaado grinned. "Whatcha up to?"

"… Nothing. What do you want?"

"Well if you're not busy, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind playing a game with me?" Mahaado's grin grew wider as he sidled up to his companion.

Shadi frowned. "I told you, we're not playing Bobbing For Pubic Hair! I'm still sore from the last time…"

"Seriously? You're such a wimp, Shadi, I healed real fast!"

"…"

"But that's not what I meant anyway. How do you feel about role-playing?"

There was a pause.

Shadi blinked. "Role-playing…"

-

By the time Shimon had finished his speech, Akefia, Atem and Seth's heads were covered in rock-related wounds. Shimon frowned at them as they attempted to focus their vision.

"And that's final," Shimon stated. He narrowed his eyes at them. "And as for your punishments—"

"NO!" They howled, "NO MORE ROCKS!"

"Be silent! Now, as I was saying… Atem, you are to spend the entire day on your throne, acting as a _true_ Pharaoh should! And Seth, you will spend the day with the other Priests. And as for you, thief—"

"Uhm, my name is Akefia…"

"_You_ are banished to the pigpen!"

"Aww, man," Akefia sighed.

-

Meanwhile, inside the Palace, Isis and Karim were walking down the hallway they had just come from. Since hearing that Shimon had been blown out of the Palace walls, they figured that the day's chores would have to wait and Isis decided to take her dear girlfriend fishing. They were currently on their way to their room to get their wooden fishing poles.

"What do you suppose happened to Shimon?" Karim asked.

"Hell if I know. But if I had to guess… I'd guess it has something to do with Atem and Seth. Those two are always driving him insane; maybe this time he decided to commit suicide."

"But he's alive."

"I never said he'd be good at it."

The rest of the walk was silent until Isis opened the door to their living quarters. Both Karim and Isis stood in the doorway, eyes wide at the sight of Mahaado, who was dressed as a monkey, chasing a naked Shadi around the room with a spear.

They stopped in their tracks and looked at the two in the threshold.

"Um," Mahaado lowered the spear, "this isn't what it looks like."

"Oh for Ra's sake. How many times are you two going to dirty up the Palace with your sinful lust?" Isis spat, obviously disgusted.

Shadi rolled his eyes. "Sinful lust? Look who's talking! The girl who shags a tranny!"

"He's not a tranny! He hasn't had the surgery!"

Karim raised his hand. "But, Isis, doesn't it count that you sawed my yoo-hoo off with a blunt rock?"

"…"

"…"

Mahaado and Shadi exchanged glances.

Isis tapped her foot on the ground impatiently at Karim. "No it does not count, you imbecile. Because you still have that pesky stub left. I could never get that off with the rock…"

"I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying, too. It hurts sometimes."

Mahaado raised an eyebrow as he called to his fellow Priest, "Karim! You let her cut off your _stuff_? What the hell's wrong with you? You _need_ that!"

"No I don't," he shook his head, "I can pee just fine with out it."

"I'm talking about sex! You need your pickle to bang things!" shouted Mahaado as he gave a visual demonstration.

Shadi groaned, "Please, Mahaado, I've had enough surprises for one day."

Isis was growing impatient once more and stomped passed the two Priests to retrieve hers and Karim's fishing poles. As she headed for the door, Karim at her side, she turned around and blew a raspberry at the two.

* * *

To be continued… 


	14. Get Down, Get Down

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Just to let you guys know, Akefia's not in this chapter. He'll be in the next one though. I figured I ought to give you girls a fair warning so you don't spend the whole chapter saying to yourself, "Where's AKEFIA?"

Anyway, enjoy yourselves.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Fourteen:

"Oh, Shimon, I'm _bored_," moaned Atem and sighed for the umpteenth time. He sat slumped over in his throne, overlooking the large hall. As per his punishment, he was to sit on the throne for the entire day and act like a true Pharaoh. However, Atem had not been aware of how boring being Pharaoh could be.

When Shimon didn't say anything to him, he continued, "Isn't there something to do? Some kind of evil that has to be destroyed?"

"Nope. Rather slow day actually." Shimon looked thoughtfully at the portable sundial on his wrist.

"Tell me about it… I hope Seth and Akefia are having more fun with their punishments…"

-

Meanwhile, Seth was walking up the second floor hallway of the Palace, sulking to himself. Shimon had told him to hang around the other Priests but he had yet to see them.

"Well that's just fine with me," he said aloud, "those people are a bunch of freaks."

"Who's a bunch of freaks?"

Seth blinked and looked up, noticing that only three feet in front of him stood Isis and Karim, both holding long sticks with string attached. Isis was obviously the one who'd addressed him and he shrugged off her question.

"Nothing. Listen, I'm in trouble for sleeping in the same bed as Atem and Akefia."

Karim and Isis exchanged glances.

Seth continued, "So I have to hang out with other Priests for the day. It's either Mahaado and Shadi or you two."

There was a short pause. Karim jerked his thumb backwards, "Those two are in our room role-playing."

"…" Seth blinked. "Well then, I guess it's you guys."

Karim smiled at his girlfriend. "Can we take Seth fishing with us, Isis? With his big hands, he'd be really good at it, don't ya think?"

She shrugged. "Fine, whatever. But let's hurry up before our raft is taken."

-

A half hour later, the Pharaoh was still bored. The only remotely interesting that had happened in the passed thirty minutes was when a guard standing watch to the left of the throne threw his spear on the ground and jumped on Atem, beating him with his bare hands. Shimon gasped, appalled, and hurried to save his King but Shimon was unsurprisingly out of shape and it was a fair amount of time before anything could be done about the beating of the Pharaoh.

"SH-SHIMON! HELP ME!"

The Advisor scratched his head in frustration. "I have to find someone to help you, my King!"

"AAHHH!"

The now insane guard was literally bitch-slapping Atem. "Take that! And that! This'll teach you to think you're better than everyone!"

"NO, WAIT A—AHH! AHH! STOP, PLEASE STOP!"

"Eat my chocolate doughnuts, Pharaoh!"

"AAAHHH!"

"Oh…" Shimon looked around worriedly. "What to do, what to do… I got it! Hang on, Atem, I'll go get help!"

Shimon rushed out of the throne room and looked outside in the courtyard. That insane guard who was currently assailing the Pharaoh had been the only one on duty at that hour. Everyone else was on lunch break. Finally, after searching for the lunching watchmen, he found them under a large cherry tree eating brownbag lunches that their moms had prepared for them.

"Hey, hey," the Advisor strolled up to them and they all turned around, their mouths full of peanut butter. "You all need to get into the throne room, there's a deranged guard beating up Pharaoh Atem!"

One of them wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He said, "Is it Jerry?"

"Um. I'm not sure. Why?"

"Oh no reason," another laughed, "it's just that he told us he planned to get revenge on the Pharaoh for living a life of leisure while he slept in cow dung."

The first guard snorted. "Jerry's insane. He sleeps in cow dung because he likes it."

Shimon blinked. "So is _anyone_ going to help out?"

A slew of various excuses followed:

"I'm not done eating."

"I have to wash my hands."

"I have to poop."

"There's a fly in my canned soup!"

"There's canned soup on my fly…"

"Someone stole my—"

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT." Shimon huffed, turning on his heel and heading back for the entrance to the throne room. All the way there, he'd mumbled to himself about the childlike characteristics of the Palace's guards. When he reentered the large hall, Atem was on the floor, battered and beaten and Jerry was standing on the throne, beating on his chest like a wild ape.

Shimon slowly backed out of the doorway.

-

On the outskirts of the Palace by the river Nile, three Priests came walking leisurely up to the water's edge where a wooden raft was docked on the shore. They came up to it and Karim and Isis began to put their rods on the thing while Seth climbed on, sitting Indian-style on the raft.

"So," he asked, hands clasped under his chin, "what're we fishin' for?"

There was a pause as Isis jumped on and Karim pushed them off the shore with a large stick he'd found. They were on the river soon enough and Karim finally said, "Alligators."

Seth stared.

"Oh, great," Isis rolled her eyes. "Karim, why'd you tell him that? Now he'll be all scared and crap. That's the last thing we need, some flailing High Priest scaring away all the gators."

"I am not going to flail!" Seth shouted after controlling his flailing mechanisms.

"Good."

"… If you don't mind my asking—"

"I do," said Isis, already agitated.

Seth's eye twitched. He continued anyway, "_Why_ are you trying to catch alligators?"

Karim picked up his pole, looking at Seth. "Haven't you read the fifty-seventh chapter of the Kama Sutra? That position involves you, your partner and a large reptile. Since there aren't any komodo dragons in Egypt, this will have to do."

"Totally." Isis cast her pole into the water.

"_Alright_…" Seth looked at the two in half-disgust and half-annoyance before sighing. He looked at their turned backs. "So what am I supposed to do?"

"When we get one," Karim began, smiling, "you have to keep it from escaping the raft until we get back to the dock."

"WHAT?"

Isis added, "And you'll have to carry it until we get to the Palace."

"WHY ME?"

"Hey, you asked to come along. Don't whine."

"I did not _ask_!"

-

Back at the Palace, lunchtime had ended. The other guards came into the hall and escorted Jerry off the premises. Shimon shuffled himself back inside and picked Atem off the ground, dusting off his millennium puzzle and robes.

"Oh Ra…" Atem said as his eyes rolled round his head. "I-I thought I was going to die, Shimon…"

"Well, lucky for you, I've got your tomb all ready."

"…!"

Shimon sat the teenager back on the throne and resumed his spot at the young king's side.

Atem gasped, "Shimon, you don't expect me to stay here, do you?"

"Of course I do! What, you think just because you were beaten senseless by a crazed idiot that you can go to bed? No, you are still on punishment, young man! This'll teach you to be found in questionable situations with a hoodlum and your cousin."

"B-But—"

"Don't throw your buts at me, Atem."

"Ugh!"

* * *

To be continued… 


	15. Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Change of plan, ladies! This story is NOT going to be in three parts. I just have heart-change after heart-change, don't I? Well if you want to know where this thing is going, check out my bio.

And yes, _Heidi_, this story does too have a plot!

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Fifteen:

"See anything yet, Isis?"

"Hn… nope. Seth, what about you?"

Seth looked up from his fingernails. "Was I supposed to be looking?"

Isis groaned aloud and Karim continued to be on the lookout for any sort of alligator-type movement. Seth sighed and planted his hand back on the raft. "Fine," he said. "But just for the record, I don't see why you guys can't make someone _dress up _as an alligator instead of putting yourselves, not to mention me, in danger."

Isis rolled her eyes. "Because then it wouldn't be authentic."

The three Priests had been floating down the Nile for a while and still no sign of an alligator. A few more minutes of silence and Karim finally made the observation, "I don't think this is working. They're not attracted to us."

"Damn it," Isis sulked.

"Well what kind of bait are you using?" Seth said, motioning toward their poles.

Karim lifted his line out of the water. "Cheese," he said.

"… No wonder they're staying away! Alligators do not like cheese."

"Then what _do_ they like?"

"Duh. People."

Isis and Karim exchanged glances. Karim set down his fishing pole and Isis undid the cheese-hook to hers. They casually walked to the other side of the raft much to Seth's confusion. In one motion, Karim held down the High Priest and Isis wrapped the string around his torso until he was tied tight.

"Hey," Seth shouted frantically. "W-What the hell? Untie me, untie me right now!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Isis smirked, kicking him into the water beside the raft. The string didn't snap but it took both Isis and her girlfriend to keep the pole from going into the water. A second later, Seth's brunette head popped up from beneath the surface.

He gasped and sputtered, "G-Good Ra! Help me!"

Karim smiled and nodded to him. "That's good, Seth, keep splashing like that!"

Seth continued to flail, unintentionally attracting unwanted attention from the local wildlife.

The couple on the raft noticed right away and shouted with excitement, "They're coming, Seth! Keep splashing—Oh my gosh, look, two more!"

"OH GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE HELP ME!"

Seth squealed and yelped, finally becoming hysterical when he noticed two eyes casually bopping over to him then noticed more and more until he realized he was surrounded. He stopped his freaking out and was completely still.

He thought, 'Maybe… if I'm totally motionless… they'll think I'm a twig.'

"Hey!" Isis called out. "What're you doing? Move around so they'll bite!"

Seth stayed silent.

Isis put her hands on her hips and turned to Karim. "He's going to ruin the whole thing! It was _your_ idea to bring him along, Karim."

"Don't worry, I'll handle it." He smiled, reassuringly and took their tackle box from the floor of the raft and tossed it out into the river; it hit Seth right on the head and he whirled around, screaming, "WHAT THE HELL?"

The alligators pounced and the water erupted into a large wave of scaly tails and tufts of brown hair.

Isis and Karim high-fived each other. "Alright!"

-

Back at the Palace, Atem was still sitting on the throne, the hall's great doors open to let in the dusk breeze.

He turned to his Advisor and said, "My butt is sticking to the chair."

Whack.

"OW! What was that for?" Atem whined.

Shimon frowned. "Using such language in the presence of the Pharaoh is inexcusable!"

"B-But _I'm_ the Pharaoh!"

"That makes it worse! Have you no self-respect?"

Atem hung his head in defeat. It had always been like this and Atem doubted it would ever change between them. But then, he thought, if he was always afraid of his Advisor, how could he ever tell the man that he was gay?

'Yeah,' he thought, pursing his lips. 'I'm Pharaoh, after all and he's Advisor. I have power over him! I'm not marrying a princess and that's final!'

"Shimon," Atem said forcefully, gaining the elderly man's attention.

"Yes?"

"S-Shimon, now you listen here. I am Pharaoh now and I don't have to do what I don't want. You bossing me around when I was a kid was fine but I'm grown up now and I'm _ga_—"

Suddenly, from the open doors came a guard running into the hall. He seemed out of breath as he bowed to the Pharaoh.

"S-Sir, Akunadin has returned to Egypt!"

Atem blinked. "Who?"

"He's on his way here right now, sir," continued to guard, "We're going—Oh! Um, Pharaoh Atem, here is Priest Akunadin."

The guard stepped out of the way and out from behind him came a tall man with a straggly beard and worn through robes. Replacing his left eye was the millennium eye that sparkled like a shiny grape.

Atem looked at the man and then down at Shimon who was obviously fuming under his robes. Atem blinked and asked, "Shimon, is that really Akunadin?"

"ATEM!" shouted the man, holding his arms out and walking foreword. He reached the throne and took hold of the young Pharaoh's shoulders, gazing at him from head to toe. "You've grown so much since I last saw you! Look at this, all this gold and whatnot… Where's your father?"

"He's dead," said Atem, blinking.

"Whoa, no way! When'd that happen?"

Shimon smacked Atem out of Akunadin's gasp. He huffed, "When you were out doing who knows what! I cannot believe you. You're a Priest, Akunadin, and you have certain duties. I'm appalled at your behavior." He put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes. "What, you were out gallivanting? Buying scarves with your _boyfriend_?"

"His name is Terry, baby."

"I can't take this!"

Atem watched the two, wide-eyed. Akunadin had only been there for a second and he'd never seen anyone get under Shimon's skin so badly. He felt the need to say something however he also thought it rude to interrupt.

"Aw, come on, Shi-Shi. Don't be so uptight—"

"Do NOT call me that, Akunadin! I am _Shimon_, royal Advisor to the Pharaoh!"

"Blah blah blah, that's all I'm hearing. Listen, I'm back now and I'm not leaving again for a while."

"_For a while_? You cant leave at all, you don't understand—"

"Hey there, little Atem," said Akunadin as he ignored Shimon and kneeled down to be at eye-level with Atem. He winked. "I got you something! I knew you'd be a big boy by the time I got back so I thought ahead when I bought it. Check this out," he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.

Atem took them and stared. "Um… Heh… T-Thanks, Akunadin. Really, they're just what I've always wanted."

"Aha, I knew it."

"KNEW WHAT?" Shimon shouted, outraged. He snatched the handcuffs from Atem. "You're giving such a cheap, tawdry gift to the Pharaoh of Egypt! You should be ashamed!"

"Oh don't be so blind, Shi-Shi. He's a man now! And just what do you mean by cheap? I'll have you know, those were handmade by Italian slaves!"

"Well _that_ certainly makes it better! You know, you are so…!"

"So what?"

"Ugh! You just make me so mad!"

Akunadin grinned. "I always could make you hot under the collar, couldn't I?"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! You filthy liar, you know that's not true!"

Atem sighed and reseated himself back in the throne.

-

"OH MY FREAKING RA, SOMEONE SAVE ME!"

Seth tried his hardest to out swim the terrible beasts but he was much slower. Isis and Karim stayed on the raft, watching as he swam from one side to the other, being followed relentlessly by his assailants. Water splashed everywhere and Seth cried out once again, "GOOD RA, _HELP_ ME!"

Isis shook her head. She called out, "You're doing it all wrong! Swim towards the _boat_, Seth!"

"I CAN'T!"

"Oh good Ra. Karim, you handle this. Seth is frustrating me."

Karim nodded, "Of course." He stood from his resting place beside her and dipped his hand into the water. He wiggled it around a little a few gators that had chased Seth then came towards the raft. Karim managed to grab one around the snout and pull it onto the raft.

Seth saw the opening and swam for his life, kicking his feet as fast as he could. When he reached the other two Priests, he climbed atop the raft, panting and gasping for breath.

When he got air back into his lungs, he croaked out, "I… I could've been killed!"

Karim smiled while holding down the alligator with his knees on the reptile's head. He said, "That's alright; you're fine now, aren't you?"

Isis nodded, patted Seth quite vigorously on the back. "He's fine, he's fine. And even if he wasn't, who cares? We've got our alligator!"

"Yeah, alright!" They high-fives again and Seth held in his tears.

-

It was sometime late that night that Pharaoh Atem snuck out from the throne room. He couldn't stand Akunadin's and Shimon's arguing another minute more and being separated from Akefia and Seth for that long had been torture enough. Atem didn't exactly know where his cousin was at the moment but he knew where he could find his thief.

He went out into the back of the Palace and found the pigpen in the corner. There was a newly painted wall around it but there was a small hope in one of the boards.

He peeked through it and found Akefia sitting up against the wall, fiddling with his hands.

"Akefia! Hey, Akefia!" Atem whispered.

Akefia turned around, eyes wide. "Atem! What're you doing here? I thought you'd be with Shimon!"

"I got away."

He smiled. "Well it's a good thing you knew where to find us."

Atem blinked, saying, "Us?"

"Yes; Seth and I." Akefia scooted out of view of the eye-hole and Seth's face was soon pressed up against the gap, grinning like a madman.

"Hey there, _cousin_. How's Pharaoh-life going?"

"SETH? What're you doing in there with him?" Atem shouted, banging on the door. "I demand to know what's going on, I demand it!"

"Chill," said Seth, putting his arm around Akefia's shoulder. "I came back from a day of fishing with Isis and Karim. But instead of fishing, those jerks made me alligator-bait! So I came back here and Akefia volunteered to dress my wounds."

Atem blinked and tried to get a better look inside.

Akefia looked at the High Priest with interest. "I still find it amazing though. You say you had all those aches on your yoo-hoo but I didn't see anything."

Atem's jaw dropped.

Seth smirked, leaning in. "Still, it was nice of you to massage it like that."

"Oh, it was no problem."

After Atem's heart began to beat again, a slew of curses so horrible followed that even longshoremen a mile away blushed.

* * *

To be continued… 


	16. There's Nothing Wrong With Egypt

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Long delay. I know. I was avoiding my computer since my return from vacation. Sorry about that. This fic is doing so well; favs-wise, it's my most popular one yet! A big thank you to everyone. Please enjoy!

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Sixteen:

The next morning, in the Priests' quarters, the young guardians woke with a loud start. The door to their room swung open, hitting the wall with a bang and everyone sat up in their beds. Suddenly, their eyes widened at the man who had come busting inside, dropping on the floor a full suitcase.

"Hey, kids! _Daddy's_ home!" Akunadin shouted, waving his arms around.

Everyone blinked.

Karim was the first to meekly ask, "Akunadin? Is that really you?"

Mahaado lifted one of his eyelids. He groaned, "Yeah, it's him alright. Grab your bunk and get to bed, old man; it's still early."

"Oh, Mahaado, you haven't changed a bit."

"Damn straight," he mumbled.

"Well that's good," Akunadin said. "Because I bought a gift for the old Mahaado."

A little silence. Mahaado lifted his head from under the sheet. "Gift?"

"I got one for each of you."

That got everyone's attention and they hopped out of their beds, lining up in front of Akunadin for their presents.

-

"I can't believe it… Akefia, how could you do such a thing?" Atem pouted and had been ever since the night before. Even in the bright morning light that shone through the large window adjacent to his bed, he had woken with his arms folded. He looked down on the floor to Akefia who'd been banished to sleep at the foot of Atem's bed by Shimon.

Akefia blinked questioningly. "But Atem, I couldn't let him just ache all night."

"Oh, he was aching alright…" Atem rolled his eyes.

"… Are you mad at me, Atem?"

"What? No, no, I'm not mad! I'm… just… um…"

After a bit of silence, Akefia's ears perked up. "Oh, I get it! Then would you like me to do the same thing for you?" he asked brightly.

Atem's jaw dropped.

"W-W-What? A-Akefia, do you know what you're volunteering?" Atem squealed, aghast and yet very intrigued.

"Sure." Akefia smiled. "You're my friend! You'd do the same thing for me, I know you would."

"Aha. You… You know me a little too well," Atem mumbled and sweatdropped. He sat up and sighed then, looking back at the tanned thief. "Well, I mean, if you want…"

Akefia gave the Pharaoh a thumbs-up sign. "Let's do this!"

"Hey, guys, guess what?" Seth suddenly came busting through the bedroom door, his voice frantic and somewhat out of breath.

Atem jumped and shouted angrily, "DAMN YOU, SETH! WHAT IS IT?"

He came into the room, head tilted. "What're _you_ so upset about?"

"Why is it that every time I'm about to get somewhere with Akefia, you come ruining it?"

"What? Get somewhere?" Seth blinked, looking past his annoyed cousin to see innocent Akefia on the floor, humming happily to himself. He laughed, "Poor Akefia, was this evil Pharaoh trying to molest you?"

"WHAT, WHAT?" Atem screamed.

Akefia waved. "Hi, Seth!"

"Hey. Anyway, listen up. Akunadin's come back so I won't be able to hang around with you today."

Atem's ears perked up. "Why not?" he asked. "You always hang out with us."

"Yeah but I can't today, I have important things to do," he said and turned around. Before Seth shut the door he said, "Later, Akefia."

"Bye, Seth," Akefia chirruped.

The room was closed off to the rest of Palace and the only sound in the room for a while was Akefia's oblivious hums and whistles. Atem blinked and turned around sharply, saying, "Akefia, did you hear that?"

"Um…"

"Seth's _busy_! Since when has Seth ever been busy? Sure, he's been trying to get busy—with you, most of the time—but he's still never had any pressing business to attend to! Am I right?"

"Gee," Akefia tapped his chin. "I suppose you are."

"Then it is the consensus of the room that Seth is up to no good!"

"No good? Do you think?"

"Oh, I think!" Atem raised his forefinger to Akefia's face. He turned around and paced in a small circle at the foot of the bed, his forefinger now pressed to his own lips as his brow wrinkled in thought. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came. He shut it again.

Akefia waited patiently. He was frightened however when Atem turned to his suddenly, a frantic wave of his arms blocking Akefia's view of the rest of the room.

"Got it!" he shouted.

Akefia lifted his hand to shield his face. "What, what? Got what?"

"Seth! I know what's the matter with Seth; _I _know why he's so busy today," said Atem solemnly.

"Oh?"

"It's upsetting news."

"Do tell."

"Seth seems to be having an affair!"

Akefia blinked. When Atem's face didn't change from that somewhat surprised and _J'accuse!_ expression, Akefia figured it was bad manners not to acknowledge this conclusion. "Well," he began slowly, "that sort of makes sense. But to have an affair, don't you have to… you know, be with someone else first? An affair is like cheating, right? Whose he cheating on?"

"Erm. Well, us. I guess."

"Us?" Akefia blinked again.

"Well hey, yeah!" Atem thought it over some more. His expression brightened then; he said, "Yeah, okay, get this: Seth's cheating on us because, hey, who does Seth hang out with all the time?"

"Us."

"Who did Seth share a bed with the other night?"

"Us."

"Who does Seth always want to have sex with?"

"Me."

"… Minor detail, overlook it. Anyhow, for the most part, we make up Seth's true lover!"

Akefia nodded. "Okeydokey."

"_So_, are we just gonna sit around like bumps on a pickle while our man floats around with some whore?"

"Ooh, pickles!"

"Try to stay focused."

Akefia thought hard. Their previous conversation returned to him and he pumped his fist in the air proudly. "No," he shouted happily.

"That's right! So what are we gonna do?"

"Eat pickles!"

"… Oh boy."

-

In the Palace's courtyard, a man was despairing over his urinary tract infection.

-

Seth was walking down the hallway, his eyes traveling ahead of his body. He searched around for Priests' chambers, unsure now where it was because the guard who held the corridor torches had taken the day off; some sort of infection or some other.

It wasn't until a moment later of groping the walls that light was brought once again into the hall. Seth was surprised to see Kenny, the torch-man at his side, tearfully holding up the torch.

"What're you doing here? I thought you had a sick day."

Kenny sniffled. "As it turns out, sir, holidays now count as sick days and I'm out."

"Really? I must've missed the memo."

"Oh the pain!"

"Hey Seth." An annoying voice came.

From the darkness of yonder came Mahaado accompanied by his currently occupied friend, Shadi. They came bopping up to Seth who was already quite irritated. Mahaado was grinning madly, obviously the one who had addressed him seeing as how Shadi was licking a lollipop.

"What is it, Mahaado? I'm in a hurry," Seth said.

Mahaado adopted a husky, womanly tone. "But Seth, I just thought you might like to know your _Sugar Daddy's _returned."

"… Sugar Daddy? Akunadin? A-And hey, he isn't my "sugar daddy"! Shut up!"

"Oh my." Mahaado reached in his back pocket and took out a grape-flavored lollipop and began to lick just as Shadi was.

Seth blinked. "Where'd you get that?"

"Akunadin. He handed them out to the Priests—"

"They're so good!" Shadi interjected.

Mahaado ignored him. "He probably has one for you too, Seth. You should go find him. But, you know, he might have something else for you to lick."

"_What_? Oh, screw you, Mahaado! You know, you are just so—" Seth stopped himself. He breathed in deep and let it out. "Forget you. I'm going to find Akunadin. And you two can keep yours Ra-damned lollipops!"

With that, Seth ran off, Kenny following. Mahaado and Shadi were left in the dark, licking and sucking noises surrounding them.

* * *

To be continued… 


	17. The Ding Dong Crusader

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Well here's another chapter. Damn, I have nothing to say again. I gotta find something to say! One of these days, I will…

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Seventeen:

"Are you happy now?"

Too busy to answer Atem's question was Akefia who sat in the middle of the Palace's kitchen licking and crunching on a large pickle which was clasped between his hands. Atem blinked at the obvious display of happiness and placed both his fists on his hips.

"Well," he said, "I guess that's a yes. Now, Akefia, that you have your pickle, we can go looking for Seth, right? To stop him from shamelessly shagging some dime-store whore?"

Akefia looked up from his treat. "Can't," he said remorsefully.

Atem's eyes widened. "Why not?" he demanded, throwing his hands into the air.

"I'm eating and after this I have to digest."

"… Oh _what_?"

"It's true, it's true. I just can't run around the Palace like a madman after Seth. Not after eating. Don't you know that?" Akefia said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The Pharaoh simply starred at him. "But—"

Akefia held up a jar filled with green juice. "Would you like one?"

"Um… Ugh, fine." Atem fished around inside the jar and sat beside the thief, accompanying him in the chomping of pickles. As they sat in silence, each teen's attention solely focused on the pickles, Atem stopped munching his half-way down and looked at Akefia.

"You know…" he began, earning Akefia's attention.

"Yes?"

"You really ought to get over this digestion thing. I mean, if you want to be a great tomb robber, you won't really have time to sit down and do this kind of thing. You'll have to be running away from guards and killing people; things like that."

Akefia sighed. He thought before saying, "I know that. But lately I really haven't wanted to become an expert tomb thief."

Atem blinked. "Really?"

"Uh-huh. It's too cliché. A scarred, dirty vagabond who takes over Egypt with his master skills of thieving. It's overdone. I think I might like to become an accountant."

"… Oh… _Okay_…" Atem eyes the other boy and took a nervous bite out of his half-eaten pickle.

"What?" Akefia turned to him. "You think it's a bad idea?"

"No, of course not…" Atem coughed.

-

Kenny was breathing raggedly as he ran down the corridors, trying at the same time to keep up with the running High Priest Seth, balance his torch and straining to keep the pain in his crotch contained.

"W-Wait up, sir!" he cried out, "I can't run that fast!"

Seth, who had been running ahead full-speed finally stopped and whirled around. "Look, Kenny, you just stay behind and take care of yourself. We both know you're in no condition for work today."

"But sir—"

"Dammit, Kenny. Go somewhere before your ding-dong explodes."

Kenny's eyes enlarged to twice their natural size. He gasped and dropped the torch to cup himself protectively. "Shit, you mean that really happens?" he shouted.

"Duh."

"… _AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH_!"

There wasn't a second in between that scream and Kenny's feet making dust fly up into the air of the hallway as he sped down the opposite way. Seth shook his head sadly and turned back to his previous direction all of a sudden falling back on his backside and hitting the cement.

He cried out and rubbed the sore side of his head. "Ra!"

"Seth! I've been looking all over for you," a loud voice boomed above him. Seth look up and saw who he'd been searching for. Akunadin continued, his forefinger raised, "where have you been? I asked the others and they said you were probably screwing Atem."

Seth's eyes darkened. "Who said th—"

Akunadin laughed in his deep-throated pervert chuckle. "Is there something you should've written me about, Seth?"

"_No_. Now listen here—"

"Honestly, Seth, how rude. You know I wanted to witness your first time. You could've at least sent me a video tape. … You _do_ video tape them, don't you, Seth?"

"No, I do not! A-And no I did not do anything with Atem! Now _please_ listen to me, Father, I—"

The older of the two waved his hand flippantly. "Alright Seth, be secretive. Anyway, I had something I wanted to discuss with you. That's mainly why I came back but don't you go telling Shi-Shi about it. He'd just jump all over me again. Not that I mind, of course…"

"_Father_! I'm _trying_ to tell you I'm nervous about my ballet recital tonight!"

Akunadin blinked, having been momentarily pulled down from his dirty thoughts involving himself and Shimon. He looked at the perturbed and somewhat distressed look on Seth's face and laughed again, simultaneously slapping him on the back.

"OUCH."

"Oh, Seth, you're so predictable."

"That _hurt_."

Akunadin nodded sympathetically. "Of course you're going to be nervous. But I'll be right there cheering for you! You've been practicing, right?"

"Sure. Usually whenever I can get a moment away from Atem and Akefia."

"Akefia, huh? Sounds hot."

"Father!"

"Yeah, fine. You saw him first, I suppose."

"_Anyway_," Seth tapped his foot impatiently.

"Yes, anyway. Erm. Where were we…?"

Seth sighed. "My recital, you old coot. I'm nervous. I just think that everyone else might be better than I am. They've had better training—they get to go practice in town and if I went out I'd have to sneak down there because Shimon is such a bitch to me."

"Now, Seth, don't badmouth your new mother."

"_MOTHER_?"

"Well… soon-to-be-mother. I'm wearing him down on the subject. I think he might be coming around," Akunadin added cheerfully.

Seth's blue eyes were dilating to the point of eruption. He held up a shaky hand and mumbled, "B-But Father…"

"Never mind that, Seth. You ought to practice a little more before tonight, don't you think?"

"…"

"Oh Seth," he laughed. "Don't give me those eyes; you're going to be fine. We'll be cheering you on—Atem and I."

"… HUH? Atem? _No way_, buddy, nuh-uh. He's not coming, he can't know about this. Imagine! My cousin coming to my dance recital. Pah, a recipe for disaster. And knowing him, he'd bring Akefia along and they'd laugh at me."

"Hn. Fine, have it your way."

"I will."

-

A few corridors away from Seth and his father was both Atem and Akefia, trudging along. Atem had finally managed to coerce Akefia out of the kitchen and away from the pickle-jar.

They were walking in silence and all of a sudden, a low growl emerged.

Atem turned around and looked at Akefia.

Akefia whined, "My stomach's growling."

"Ra-damn. You had two pickles, what more do you want?"

"Um…"

"_Akefia_—"

"No, wait, I'm thinking."

Suddenly a low groan came from somewhere in the vicinity. Both Atem and Akefia stopped looking at each other and immediately whipped their heads around, searching for the source of that sound.

When there was nothing but the quiet again, Atem looked back at his companion and asked, "Did you hear something?"

"I, er, thought I did."

The sound came again and the two looked up ahead in the near darkness at a human leg sticking out from the shadows. A lit torch was beside the leg, barely rolling on the floor. Atem and Akefia gasped and ran over. Akefia picked up the torch and held it so that they could see who the leg was attached to.

Atem blinked. "Kenny? That you?"

The man groaned in agony.

"What's wrong with you?"

Behind the Pharaoh, Akefia poked him. He said, "Hey, ask him if he's seen Seth, alright?"

Atem nodded and turned back to the moaning Kenny. "By the way, have you seen Seth anywhere? We've been looking for him."

Kenny winced. "Erg… Seth… penis… popped… Oh, the agony…"

There was a pause. Atem and Akefia exchanged glances.

"Pardon?" Akefia asked timidly.

Kenny was about to open his mouth again but Atem intervened. He shouted, "Oh good Ra, Akefia! Didn't you hear what he just said? Poor Kenny! Seth popped his penis!"

Akefia's eyes grew wide. "_What_?"

"You heard the man! Ooh, that Seth. He's really crossed the line this time. He may be High Priest but he just can't go around destroying people's manhood. We ought to go set him straight!"

"But we don't even know where he is!"

"We'll find out!"

Akefia nodded slowly and his gaze returned to Kenny lying on the floor. "Oh… but what about him?"

"Eh? Oh right! We can leave him here; someone will come and get him later."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh. We have to find Seth. Cheating on us, bursting men's penises? Where will it end?"

"Alright, let's go."

Both boys nodded to each other and ran off down the hallway, soon out of Kenny's sight. He watched the darkness close in on him and whined curses into the air.

* * *

To be continued… 


	18. Ain't No Secret Keepin' In Dreamland

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know' instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Yes, sorry for the long wait on this but I had another fic to finish. This one shall go off without a hitch, hopefully.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Eighteen:

The sun had already set over the sands of Egypt and the Palace was turning dark from lack of sunlight and the High Priest and his wayward father were exiting the royal house of the Pharaoh to the gates and into a carriage that was arranged to transport the two of them into the town for Seth's secret recital.

Seth had hoped to leave and return in secret without his nosy cousin or their estranged friend knowing about it but he had no such luck because just as his carriage was pulling off, Atem and Akefia had raced through the Palace corridors to one of the upper level windows and saw the brunet and his father pull away from the Palace at horse speed.

"Damn it!" Atem growled, hoisting himself up on the window sill. "He's getting away…"

"We can maybe catch him when he comes back?" Akefia offered, putting a gentle hand on Atem's shoulder.

"And let him go into town to pop more penises?" Atem asked in a high-pitched voice.

"Um…"

"Do you think that's such a good idea?"

"Well, no…"

"Then let's go!"

"Alright, we'll just find the stairs—"

"Too little, too late, Akefia!" Atem threw himself over the window sill and into the dusky air.

Akefia gasped soundlessly and then screamed, "ATEM! ATEM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

As he fell and fell, Atem managed to scream back at his friend, "SAVING THE WORLD'S PENIS POPULATION!"

Everyone who had previously been standing in the courtyard below, minding their own business, all immediately looked up at the mention of penises. At seeing their king free-falling towards them at an alarming rate, penis or no, they all got the hell out of the way.

Atem hit the Earth with a thud and, upstairs, Akefia had his hands over his mouth in shock. He ran back into the corridor and went down the stairs like someone with common sense. When he reached the courtyard, Atem was struggling to his feet and finally erected himself, though he was bashed up a fair bit.

He took a shaky step.

"No, Atem, you can't!" Akefia wailed.

"Y-Yes I can… L-Let's go, Akefia! After Seth!" As each word sprang forth from Atem's mouth, he seemed to get his balance back and they started on their way into town.

-

Back inside the Palace walls, Shadi and Mahaado had long since finished off their lollypops and were wandering around with the remnants of the sticky stuff all around their lips.

Mahaado stopped and looked around, his fists on his hips. "Where's that old codger when you need him? I'm craving one of those things now!"

"Me, too… But, Mahaado, we each only get one."

"But, Mahaado, but, Mahaado," he mimicked Shadi, scrunching his face up and waving his hands. "Your life is full of buts. No wonder you never get laid."

He rolled his eyes. "Now you know that's not true."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mahaado got red in the face.

"Pft. Nothing, I was kidding."

"You bet it means nothing!"

"Alright, alright, no need to get defensive."

"I never did anything!" he was getting louder and louder.

Shadi widened his eyes. "I-I never said you did—"

"Stop accusing me of taking you in your sleep!"

"Um…"

"Because it's not like I do it every night! That's not the reason you wake up so sore! Really!"

There was a long pause during which Mahaado breathed raggedly.

Shadi starred. "Holy…"

-

Seth and his father finally arrived at the building where the ballet recital was being held. Teenage girls filed in with their parents and had on their pink and blue tutus. Seth opted to wear his under his royal robes and change when they got inside. The air was warm around them and the light inside the building was nearly blinding compared to the darkness of the young night outside.

Seth looked around, trying to hide his nervousness.

Akunadin patted his son on the back heartily. "It'll be fine, Seth. You'll be just as good as the others."

"… That's the most sincere thing I can ever remember you saying to me, Father… Thanks…"

"Most sincere? I was sincere when I said Shimon would look hot in a negligee."

Seth blinked, then shouted in aggravation, "You just have to step on any tender moment with your nasty thoughts, don't you, Father?"

"Nasty's in the eye of the beholder. No go on! Get dressed, it'll be starting soon."

He sighed and followed the girls backstage.

Meanwhile, Akunadin found a seat in the front row of the audience and made himself comfortable. He was sitting between two other parents and was a bit dismayed at the lack of room he had to stretch out. But, having patience, he waited for the inevitable to occur.

One of the women looked to the other, saying with casual disgust, "The floors here are so sticky…"

Akunadin turned to her and said, "I just came."

There was a moment of silence.

They simultaneously got up and went to find seats elsewhere while Akunadin leant back and relaxed.

-

Backstage, Seth was slipping into his outfit and needed help with his zipper. He turned to a girl fully dressed beside him and asked politely, "Could you zip me up?"

She nodded but just as she reached for the zipper, another two girls came over and dragged Seth away by the wrists. When they were a reasonable distance away, one of the girls addressed him. "Don't be stupid! You can't let Kelly behind you!"

"Why not?"

"She's a freak. Let her behind you to zip you up and in a second, you'll have a giant dildo shoved up your ass."

"…"

"Personal experience."

"Um… well… thanks for the heads up." Seth began to walk away and said, as an afterthought, "Uh, good luck."

"Yeah, you too!" she called after him.

-

In a few minutes, the curtains opened and the ballerinas all shuffled out into place. In two rows of pretty, blonde teen girls, Seth stuck out like a sore thumb. The rest of them were smiling like they had petroleum jelly pasted to their teeth and Seth only frowned deeply at the bright lights in his face.

All the other parents clapped politely at the entrance of their children while Akunadin hooted and whistled. "Make these girls cream their pants, Seth! That a boy!"

Seth paled in embarrassment.

They dancers all started when the music began to play and, to Seth's surprise, he managed to keep in time and did well with all the positions and everything seemed to be going along swimmingly. He thought, 'Maybe I was worried for nothing, after all…'

But that was before the doors to the building were opened with a loud bang and in the doorway stood the Pharaoh and a rather sexy looking vagabond whom Akunadin noticed right away. The dancing girls all slowed to a stop and Seth was in the middle of a prayer to Ra that he would have the strength of heard to refrain from killing Atem.

The ballet teacher, a woman who sat close to the stage, stood up in outrage. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I—um, _we_ are here to stop terrible happenings from occurring!" Atem said, taking Akefia by the hand and walking up the aisle separating the two blocks of seats. He used his free hand to point to the stage. "That man is not as pure as he seems!"

Seth looked up. "Ra, scratch that prayer. Just kill me now."

"What on Earth are you going on about?" she demanded.

"Seth has popped a poor man's penis and is now a mad rampage! If we don't get him counseling, the consequences could be catastrophic!"

Seth starred for a long moment and then said, "_What?_"

"You heard me! Kenny was on the floor in agony back in the Palace! You devastated him, Seth! I have to ask! Why? Why _Kenny_?"

Akefia shook his head. "That wasn't very kind, Seth."

"You people are insane! Kenny had a urinary infection! I didn't touch him!"

Atem narrowed his eyes. "A likely story."

"Ugh!"

"And what about cheating on us?" Akefia asked timidly.

Seth blinked. "Cheating…? On… you two?"

"Atem said you were."

Everyone looked at the young Pharaoh and he blushed. "Well, because you usually hang out with us all day and you said you couldn't today… so… I, um…"

"I was coming HERE to my ballet recital which you just RUINED!" Seth wailed and ran back stage in a fit of tears.

The entire room was silent.

Akunadin coughed and turned around to the two women he'd earlier scared off. "If it's any consolation to this huge fiasco… I really did come."

* * *

To be continued… 


	19. Do You Know the Muffin Man?

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know; instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: You guys did great on the reviews, thanks so much. This chapter is from me, to you. Enjoy.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Nineteen:

The trip home from town was not enjoyable at all. There was an intense silence in the carriage that you could cut with a spear had one been present and Atem, feeling low and ashamed for having ruined his beloved cousin's big ballet debut, sat close to the window opposite of Akunadin who was nodding off to sleep.

Seth was on the other side of the older ma and hadn't said a word since the girls in his ballet class pried him out of the bathroom. His eyes were red from crying and Atem had tried to say something comforting as the High Priest went for the door but received such a look of doom that he quickly shut his mouth.

Now, as they all road together in the night, the stars wheeling overhead, it was Akefia who felt it up to him to fight away the tension.

"Um… well… it sure is nice out tonight," he said.

Seth spared him a glance but nothing more.

Akefia sighed and then brightened at a private idea. He reached behind himself and then pulled out a perfect and scrumptious looking English muffin. He cleared his throat and everyone regarded him. "Would any of you care for an English muffin? It's a healthy late night snack and—"

"Where did you get that?" Atem interrupted.

Akefia blinked at him.

There was a moment of silence.

Akunadin reached over and took the muffin, munching in on it thoughtfully. "This tastes… _interesting_," he said after a moment of consideration.

"Is interesting good?" Akefia asked.

"Interesting is interesting."

"Where on Earth…?" Atem wondered again but sighed and shrugged it off. _He_ hadn't eaten it and so he supposed the mysterious muffin's origin really didn't matter.

Akefia seemed a bit pleased that Akunadin was somewhat enjoying his muffin but was dismayed that Seth had remained quiet. So he reached back behind himself once more and, whilst digging around, Seth held out a hand to him and said, "No. No more of that."

"Oh…"

Atem smiled brightly, "Seth, you spoke!"

"NOT TO YOU!"

Atem yipped, frightened.

There was quiet all except the munching of Akunadin's muffin. He said as he took another bite, "This tastes so… familiar…"

Seth and Atem paused. "Oh, _gross_!"

After a very uncomfortable ride home, the carriage finally reached the Palace and the boys got out, Seth speed walking ahead of the rest of them for the open doors. Atem and Akefia hurried to catch up to him while Akunadin lagged behind.

"Seth, listen, allow me to apologize—"

"I don't want your apology, Atem, I just want you out of my face!"

"But if you'd just listen—" Atem stopped but this time not for Seth's interruption. Upon entering the throne room, they were greeted with the sight of all the Priests including Shimon standing around and, of course, the center of chaos was Shadi and Mahaado.

"I am not staying in the same room as him for another night!" Shadi bellowed, pointing a shaky finger at his best friend.

"You're overreacting," Mahaado said, rolling his eyes.

"O-Overreacting?" He shrieked. "You _sodomized_ me!"

"I did not!"

Shimon took the liberty of throwing rocks at both of them and, aside from the cries of pain, they both quieted down. Shimon folded his arms over his chest and said with authority, "Now calmly tell me what has happened, Shadi."

"It's Mahaado," he blubbered. "This time he's gone too far! He's been taking me in my sleep for who knows _how_ long!"

Isis raised her hand. "Five months and three days."

Shadi's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

"Five months and three days, did I st-st-stutter? Karim and I do share a room with the two of you, you know, it's not like it's a huge secret or something."

Karim nodded towards Mahaado. "You've got nice form."

Mahaado sweatdropped.

"F-Five months… three days…" Shadi seemed to be in a stupor and then whipped his head around at Isis. "What, do you keep a calendar or something? How could you know the exact date?"

"No. There's, like, a crack in the wall for each night it happens. Mahaado's no joke, man," Karim took the liberty of explaining for his lovely girlfriend.

Isis nodded, eyes closed. "Like a fucking bull."

With each statement, Shadi's eyes got rounder and rounder until he finally snapped and shouted at Mahaado, "YOU'RE THE REASON FOR MY HEMORRHOIDS!"

"They're lying, Shadi! Can't we talk about this in private?" Mahaado asked desperately.

"No! No, we can't! I'm sleeping outside!" And with that, Shadi left.

Mahaado sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Isis shrugged. "Well, there'll be silence in the Priests' quarters for the first time in months."

Mahaado glared at her. "Not all those cracks are my fault. You sadist."

"And that's the way uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it."

"Oh, you are sick." Mahaado turned for the door and trotted out, calling, "Shadi! Shadi, wait up!"

Shimon shook his head pitiably after Mahaado had left. He looked over at the three boys standing, confused, in the doorway. "And where have you two been, huh?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "My Pharaoh, you're still holding on to that filthy pet of yours?"

Akefia frowned, hurt.

"Shimon, Akefia is my friend!" Atem patted the thief on the shoulder and saw, out of the corner of his eye, Seth walking off into the dark corridor, probably to his room. Atem sighed inwardly and thought it best to give the wounded man his space and maybe approach him when his cuts weren't so fresh. He noticed his own fatigue and yawned, stretching and turned to Akefia. "Ready to go to bed? It's been a long day."

"Yeah, it has."

Atem nodded and they were about to leave the throne room as well but were stopped when Shimon slid in front of them.

"Wait, wait, Atem." He smiled brightly. "Forget all that nonsense. I have news that will knock your socks off."

"Well, I'm not wearing socks but okay."

"We have princesses coming in from royal families in esteemed countries far off. Any of the girls would be perfect material to share your throne. They'll be here in the morning."

"… Huh? Shimon! I told you, I don't want—"

Whack.

Atem cried out in pain and still, tried to say, "Shimon, I'm not interested—"

Whack.

"I'm ga—"

Whack. Whack. Whack.

Atem passed out and large, red bumps formed on his forehead. Shimon began to walk away and said as he went, "I'll expect you up and ready to greet them at the welcoming ceremony tomorrow. No dilly-dallying."

Isis and Karim looked at the Pharaoh in pain on the floor and Akefia asked if they would help him drag the king to his room. Karim agreed to help and Isis agreed to go back to her room and go to sleep.

After the two men got the Pharaoh into his bed, Karim left and Akefia cuddled up on his fur rug on the floor while Atem laid unconscious on his bed.

-

Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, a man and a dolphin were having a bit too much fun together.

-

"GOOD _MORNING_, SUNSHINE!"

Atem woke with a start at the loud and cheery voice that rang loudly throughout his chambers. He squinted out of the window and the sun was just barely peaking over the distant sand dunes. Everything blurry came into focus and Atem looked at the open door where Seth was standing, a wide grin spread on his face.

Akefia was sitting at the edge of the bed, eating one muffin and holding another in his hand. He held on out to Seth happily. "Good morning, Seth. Would you like one?"

"Wrap it up for me, Akefia," Seth sang, sailing into the room and over to the closet, picking out Atem's best outfit and throwing it onto the bed. "Because we've got places to go and people to see. Don't we, Atem?"

"Places… people…? Seth, what's going on?" He rubbed at his eye. "Why are you so happy? Aren't you mad at me?"

"MAD?" Seth said it like he didn't know the meaning of the word. "Mad at my favorite cousin? Why, whatever would give you that idea?"

"Um… Well, I ruined your—"

"Oh, now, now," he simpered. "No talk of that. I'm OVER it! Today is a new day. So get dressed Atem, because you're going to meet some very important people."

"Like _who_?"

Seth grinned wickedly. "Like your wife."

"… Shit."

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's right, you prick! Finally! Sweet revenge!" Seth stood on the bed and went hysterical with laughter. "And once you're married off, Akefia will be all mine!"

Atem was speechless.

Akefia took another bite of his muffin. "I think this batch is kind of dry…"

* * *

To be continued… 


	20. Deliver Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know; instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

Her Sweetness: Hey, yeah. Chapter twenty. Always a milestone in fan fiction-writing, as you lot should well know. That's right, go me. XD

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Twenty:

Atem sorrowfully dressed in the clothes his cousin had laid out for him. After he fastened in his lone earring, he turned around to see both Akefia and Seth looking at him; Akefia, with a look of confident cheeriness on his sweet face and Seth with a look of triumphant malevolence.

"You look great," Akefia said.

"Thanks…" Atem sighed and had the expression of a maudlin clown.

Seth strode over to his depressed cousin and put his hands on his shoulders, steering him out of the Pharaoh's bedchamber with Akefia following them into the hallway. "Don't look so sad, Atem. They're princesses, after all. Beautiful women of royalty." He leant into the teen's ear and whispered, "I'm sure they have nothing on Akefia but, you know, that's how the cookie crumbles."

Atem frowned at him. "Seth, leave me alone."

Before Seth could retort, they had made it into the throne room and Shimon shimmied on over to them.

"There you are! You look so handsome, my Pharaoh, like a true king. I'm proud of you."

"Shimon, please listen—"

"Not now, Atem. I've just received word that the girls have arrived in Egypt, they're on their way to the Palace as we speak. Seth! Go get the other Priests. We have to seem _somewhat_ professional."

"Ha. With this lot? Like that'll ever happen."

Whack!

"Ouch! Alright, alright…"

"And take that ragamuffin with you," he said referring to Akefia.

Seth turned back for the hallway and led Akefia by the hand with him. Atem watched them go and then turned to the open doors of the throne room, the horizon bright. He sighed.

-

"Seth," Akefia said timidly as they ventured down the corridors to the Priests' quarters.

"Yeah?"

"Why did Atem look so sad?"

Seth pursed his lips. "Do you _ever_ pay attention?"

"Um…"

There was a long pause.

Seth groaned. "Atem is sad because he's being forced to marry a princess and he's _gay_. He wants a man but Shimon won't listen to him."

Akefia seemed to let that sink in for a moment before gasping, "That's horrible!"

"So I've heard."

"Well, we aren't going to let him go through with this, are we, Seth?"

Seth guffawed. "Sure we are! And even if we wanted to stop this, how could we? I may be High Priest but I have no power to stand in the way of tradition. And you… well, you're a thief."

"Not for long. I'm going to become an accountant," he said with confidence.

"… _What? _Oh, never mind. Listen, Atem is the only one who can stop this but he's too much of a pansy to stand up for himself."

They came to the door of the room they'd been searching for and Seth, after speaking, knocked on the door with the back of his fist and stood back. "You guys," he called. "We have to get ready to greet the princesses. You're all ready, right?"

There was a pause and then the door burst open with Shadi storming out and Mahaado behind him, saying, "Stop jumping to conclusions! I didn't sodomize you last night!"

"Oh, I know you didn't," Shadi shouted back at him. "But _thomehow_, I woke up with a thtupid lisp! And I know you're the reason for it!"

The two of them argued down the hallway and when Seth and Akefia looked up, Karim and Isis were standing beside them.

Seth asked, exasperated, "Do I even want to know?"

Isis shook her head. "Just that Mahaado talked Shadi into sleeping in the room last night. The rest is pretty NC-17."

Isis and Karim started to walk off in the direction of the throne room as well and Seth went to follow them. He was stopped by a tugging on his sleeve.

"Seth, wait. Let's help Atem."

"No way—"

Akefia rounded his eyes and whined from the back of his throat.

Seth twisted his lips…

And ultimately sighed.

-

Back in the throne room, the Priests were in their respective places in the hall and Shimon was at Atem's left. The trumpets just outside the doors sounded and signaled the arrival of the fair princesses. Atem knew this and gripped the armrests of his throne.

He looked to his right and saw that Seth was not there.

'Even if he is a prick… I don't want to be alone! … He better not be off making out with Akefia!'

"Shimon, where is Seth?" he whispered, the trumpets blaring louder.

The Advisor looked over on the other side of the throne at the empty spot and narrowed his eyes. In a second, however, Seth came skidding out of the hallway and halted in his spot, smoothing down his hair.

"Reporting for duty," he said.

Shimon frowned. "I don't know what that was about but you're getting a rock later."

Atem wanted to inquire about Akefia but had not the time when, at that moment, a girl of small stature entered the room, her lithe body draped in white robes. Her hazel eyes shown over the veil covering her nose and mouth. She walked in timidly and, behind her, came in another girl, this one in dazzling robes of reds and oranges. She had blue eyes and golden hair.

Shimon glanced up at Atem to catch his reaction of amazement and love.

Atem just looked bored and pissed off.

Girl after girl stored into the room and after the sixth one entered (clearly the prettiest of the bunch with her shiny black hair and sea-green eyes) Shimon began to clear his throat but before he could speak, another figure stumbled in, this one in robes that covered her from almost head to toe.

"S-Sorry I'm late!" she squeaked, running in and standing with the other girls in front of the throne.

The rest of the princesses looked up at her with "what the fuck" looks on their faces. The last girl had blood-red eyes and was big and seemingly… muscular.

Atem gasped.

Shimon squinted at her and said, "I thought there were only six. Who are you?"

"I, um," her voice fluctuated from squeaky to deep as she spoke, "Well, I'm from Greece and—"

"_I'm_ from Greece!" shouted the girl in the blue dress.

"Um. I meant Italy. Yeah. And my name is Akef… Um, Akeela."

Shimon looked at a roster he pulled out from his robes. "Well, you're not on the list… but the more the merrier. So, your Highness," he addressed Atem, "what do you think? Quite the impressive lot, right? Except that one on the end…"

Akeela blushed.

Atem sweatdropped and turned to Seth, whispering, "What have you two done? Who's going to fall for that?"

"Shimon obviously is," he pointed out.

Atem looked up and saw Shimon poking and prodding the girls, making comments. The Advisor turned around and said, "Pharaoh, these are your choices. Please select your queen."

Atem nodded unsurely and rose. He spared Seth a glance and the High Priest seemed to be put-off from the whole thing but was obviously willing to stand there and say nothing. Atem walked foreword past his snickering and confused Priests.

He started at the beginning of the line, pointing to the girl in the blue dress and then going down the line, pointing to the rest.

"Ugly, too skinny, chubby, too many freckles, buck teeth, cock-eyed…"

All the girls gasped in horror at Atem's brutal honesty.

He came to Akeela and smiled at her.

"Perfect," he said.

Shimon was standing there with his mouth in the shape of a perfect circle.

"W-W-WHAT?"

"You asked me to pick. I did."

Akeela sent a thumbs up towards Seth and Seth rolled his eyes but returned the gesture nonetheless.

"BUT, ATEM, SHE'S SO UGLY AND MISHAPPEN!"

Akeela frowned.

Atem shook his head. "You shouldn't insult your future queen, Shimon."

"F-Future queen…? Oh, my life." Shimon held his face in his hands. It was a long moment before he lifted his head again. "Alright, whatever. I wanted you to get married and she's better than nothing. Before you come to your senses and change your mind, we'll make this as quick as possible. The wedding is tomorrow."

Atem and Akeela exchanged glances.

Isis whispered to Karim, "I'd hate to see their kids."

He nodded.

-

Later that night when the Palace was asleep and the town was partying, the three usual occupants of the Pharaoh's bedchamber were in there now, discussing their current predicament.

"I say it worked out well," said Akefia, now out of his disguise.

"That was crazy, you guys." Atem looked at them as he sat on his bed, holding his stuffed sphinx, Chadwick, to his chest. "I can't believe you did that."

"Hey, that was _his_ idea. All his," Seth said.

"But you went along with it."

"And?"

"What made you?"

Seth paused and then blushed, looking away. He mumbled something.

"… What? Couldn't hear you."

"_Puppy-dog eyes_. Akefia cheated."

Akefia giggled. "All's fair in love and war."

Seth blushed harder.

Atem squealed. "Akefia has a puppy-dog face? Cute! I want to see!"

"I can only do it when I really want something," he confessed. "And I really wanted to help you, Atem. Its not right to be tied to doing what's expected of you."

Seth shook his head. "It's not like we've really accomplished anything. Akefia, if you're married to Atem, you'll have to keep on pretending to be a girl and Atem will have to pretend to be straight. And where are you two going to get a kid from to be your heir? Gonna secretly adopt one?"

Atem frowned. "Oh, Seth…"

"I'm just being realistic."

There was a long moment of silence.

Akefia perked up. "I got it! I got an idea!"

They both turned to him. "What?"

"We could pop a baby out of a pregnant lady for our heir."

Seth groaned.

Atem sighed.

Akefia looked confused.

* * *

To be continued… 


	21. To Be Free

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Or Yuugiou.)

Things To Know: (I say 'things to know; instead of 'warnings' because this story really has nothing to be warned about.) Anyway, I'm not an expert on Ancient Egypt, however, I will do my best and help in reviews would be kindly appreciated. This story has a plot. But it's a bit odd and it may not always be apparent because… hey, I'm like that.

* * *

—I Believe In The Sand Between My Toes—

Chapter Twenty-one:

Seth slid into the Pharaoh's bedchamber in the early morning but the rest of the Palace was already awake and hard at work, making preparations for the wedding of their Pharaoh to the slightly ugly princess from Italy.

The curtains were open and the morning breeze blew into the room.

"Hey, Atem, Akefia. Wake up," he said, crossing the floor to the foot of the large bed.

Atem stirred and then sat up, rubbing his eye. "G'morning, Seth…"

"Pah. What's good about it?"

Atem blinked. He looked to his side and shook the thief. "Akefia, come on; up, up."

There was a pause and then Akefia sat up, screaming his head off and scaring the living daylights out of the two other men.

"AAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHHH!"

"W-WHAT'S WRONG! CALM DOWN!" Atem waved his arms around and ultimately clamped his hands over Akefia's mouth. The thief calmed down and looked around with frantic eyes.

Seth was breathing raggedly, clutching his chest. "Ra damn! What the hell is the matter with you, huh?"

Atem slowly released his face.

"I… I dreamt I had a vagina," Akefia panted.

Seth and Atem exchanged glances.

"Are you upset about having to be a girl for the rest of your life?" Atem asked, concerned.

Seth rolled his eyes. "No, he's upset because his vagina was all stretched out. _Of course _he's upset about being a girl, you ass! Who wouldn't be? You've damned us all, Atem, not to mention yourself."

"How are _you_ even affected, Seth?" Atem asked, eyes narrowed.

"If Akefia's going to be married to you, how am _I_ going to get any?"

"You pervert!"

"Shut up, Atem, you know you're looking foreword to it!"

Atem blushed.

Akefia sniffled. "I-I don't wanna be a girl…"

-

"Wow! Hey, dad, come look! I grew pubic hair!"

-

Downstairs in the Priests' dining hall, the five members of Pharaoh Atem's court were wolfing down their breakfast quickly as were Shimon's orders. The wedding to Princess Akeela was to be that morning and they all had to be there with bells on.

"I think there's something a little off about that Akeela," Mahaado said, sipping his orange juice. "She seems… manly."

"Steroids," Shadi said.

"Really?"

"I don't know."

"I think she has an… interesting beauty," Karim said to try and be positive.

Isis rolled her eyes. "You idiots call yourselves men and you don't even know one when you see him." "

They all looked at her. Karim tilted his head, "What do you mean?"

"That was a MAN in DRAG."

Shadi stopped chewing suddenly. "But… _why_?"

"Hell if I know. … You've got some ketchup on your chin."

Shadi wiped his face with his hand and looked at it. "That's not ketchup, it's blood from the bacon."

"Oh."

-

About half an hour later, Akeela was in the dressing room set up just for her to put on her dress. Two maid were in there as well and Akeela felt nervous that her little "secret" would be discovered if the maids saw too much, they would rat on her and tell the whole kingdom and Atem would be forced to marry a _real_ girl.

Akeela sat on the silk covered divan in the middle of the room and looked over her shoulder into the mirror, seeing her blood-red eyes shining.

"Okay, here we are!" said one of the maids as she came in cheerily, holding up a white dress. "What do you think?"

"Oh… it's, um, nice."

She blinked and then squinted at her. "Problem?"

"Um, no! Just… it's… really white…?"

"… Ohhhh… I see." The maid grinned slyly. "Can you not wear white, Princess?"

Akeela seemed puzzled at the question.

"Yes, I can…"

"Oh, don't you be coy with me. It's okay, we've all been there. Got drunk at a bar one day with two twins that looked delicious with beer-goggles on? That's okay, it'll be our little secret."

Akeela was very confused but said, "Okay…"

"Here's what we'll do. I'll just pin this pink flower to the side so that way we're not LYING but we're just… making the truth hard to see. Get me?"

"Yeah…"

"Great! Now, shall I put this on for you?"

"Um, no, that's okay! I'll do it myself, if you don't mind…" Akeela went to take the dress from her.

She handed it over. "Case of the butterflies, right? You'll get over it. For your sake, I hope so! Pharaohs are known to be frisky on their wedding nights." She winked and left.

Akeela sweatdropped.

-

Atem was dressed in his best and was standing behind the large red curtain of the balcony where he'd given his acceptance speech. Seth was lounging on that same seat and looked up when Atem raised his arms and asked, "How do I look?"

"As straight as you're every going to manage."

"Oh, shut up."

"No."

"Shut up!"

"Nya nya! Atem can't make me shut up! Oh, poor little fairy—" Seth was hit in the mouth with a rock.

Atem turned around and saw Shimon shuffling up the stairs. "Seth, stop harassing our king! How many times must I tell you to act your age?"

Seth sulked quietly.

Shimon huffed at him and turned to Atem, smiling the first time at him… Atem did not know how long.

"I'm so proud of you, my Pharaoh. I'm sure your father would be too. You've truly grown up over the past few weeks. I admit, I was pretty worried about the future of our land but I know now you'll do the right thing."

"Um… thanks, Shimon…"

"Now! Let us begin the ceremony!"

Atem was about to say something but Shimon took him by the shoulders and led him out onto the balcony over which they were greeted with the population of the entire town, all massed in front of the Palace to pay their respects to the Pharaoh and new Queen.

They all cheered at the sight of Atem.

He waved sheepishly and then took his place, standing beside Shimon and they waited, looking at the parted curtain. In a moment, Seth came walking through the curtain, looking solemn and annoyed and was followed by his father, Shadi, Mahaado, Isis and Karim.

They separated, standing on either side of the terrace. Some trumpets blared in the background and finally Akeela, dressed up in a long white gown with a pink flower fastened to her white hair.

She looked scared and bewildered and Atem could hear some people in the crowd below saying things like, "What the hell?"

Akeela stood beside Atem and they exchanged a short glance before Shimon started to speak, projecting his voice for all to hear.

"Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today in the presence of Ra to take notice of these two figures of royalty who…"

He went on and on and Atem found this all to be boring and tedious.

Akeela shifted awkwardly and Atem leant in, whispering, "What's wrong?"

"These panties… they're too tight… my sperm cells are deteriorating…" she whined.

Atem frowned and, seeing Akeela's unhappy face, he snapped.

"STOP!" he yelled, scaring Shimon into silence. "STOP! Please, stop everything! This wedding is off!"

Shimon blinked, confusedly at first and then angrily. "Atem, what are you doing?"

"Something I should've done a long time ago." He ran past Shimon to the rail of the veranda and leant over, looking out over his people. "Citizens of Egypt, I'm your Pharaoh and I'm not going to lead you astray! I'm homosexual!"

Everyone blinked, not understanding.

Atem groaned. "_GAY_," he said.

"Ohhhh," they said back.

Shimon yelled at him, "Stop saying things like that!"

"But it's the truth! Isn't it, Seth?" Atem looked to his cousin.

Seth nodded. "There's never been a bigger cake than he."

Atem pursed his lips. "Anyway. And there's something else… Akeela, Princess of Italy, is not a woman!" Atem's gaze softened as he turned to her. "His name is Akefia and he's Thief… I mean, he's an accountant. A-And my cousin, the High Priest… he's a dancer. And he's really good at it. I hope that because I ruined his first recital that he doesn't give up want he really wants to do.

"Listen, I've been living a lie my whole life. I never wanted to get married, Shimon pushed me into it. But I can't blame it on him, I never stood up for myself. But I'm not going to let my friends be forced into lives they don't want just because I'm a coward. And I don't want the rest of you to hide yourselves. Egypt is my home and my responsibility so please don't make the mistake I've made for seventeen years.

"Let yourselves out of your shells, don't be ashamed of your secrets! Please, don't be ashamed!" Atem shouted at them and they were all quiet.

Then, amazingly, a burly man out in the crowd raised his hand and said loudly, "I don't really like my job a blacksmith! I want to make plushies for a living!"

Another man raised his hands, "I read yaoi fan fiction!"

Another: "I have webbed toes and I want to wear sandals!"

From behind Atem, Akeela ripped off her dress and was revealed as Akefia who was very much a boy. He shouted out, "I'm not the Thief King!"

Seth sighed and ran up to join Atem and Akefia. "I can arabesque the best out of my whole ballet class!"

Shimon was at a loss for words. He whipped his head around when Mahaado grabbed Shadi's hand and shouted out, "I'm bisexual and I want Shadi!"

Shadi shouted, "I'm straight but Mahaado's already had me so we might as well be together!"

Isis grinned at her girlfriend. "All our secrets are out in the open already."

Akunadin leered over at Shimon, "Hey, Shi-shi. What say you and me let our dirty laundry out of the closet?"

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY!"

Secrets and things that people really had every right to be embarrassed and ashamed of were shouted out all around the Palace and Seth said to his cousin, "I can't believe you had the balls to do this, Atem."

"Really? Does that mean your opinion of me is heightened?"

"Nope."

And so it came to pass that the kingdom of Egypt was freed from the dark shadow of conformity and tradition that had hovered over it for millennia. Atem resumed his rule as Pharaoh and did so with Akefia and Seth by his side in both his throne and his bed. Life for them continued not so differently from the norm and when an heir was needed, fortunately for them, there was a pregnant lady around who needed popping.

* * *

**THE END…**

* * *

Her Sweetness: Endings are just popping out of me like babies, huh? Well, I hope you enjoyed this. I know I did. And don't worry, I actually think that a sequel could be in the future, though not any time soon. I just had too much fun writing this to let it lay.

For those who care, this story did have a point from the very beginning. Not to conform and to be proud of your differences even if they may seem like faults.

I'll be restarting another fic off of my Hiatus list so keep your eyes on me, ladies.

And if we don't meet again…

Goodbye and Goodluck.


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